So after singlehandedly catapulting One Direction to US fame and stardom (you're welcome, America!), I watched in awe of myself as everyone around me and their mother effectively lost control of their bodily functions whenever the fearsome five-some took to a stage, sang their precious harmonies in tune, or asked everyone to retweet some nonsense like #harryshowusyourwilly or #getnialltotweetmeorikillmycat. Needless to say, 1D has added a new layer of crazy to the American tweendon/Beliebers/me and most of my friends not seen since my BSB/Spice Girls craze zenith circa 1998. Not wanting to lose any momentum, the boys let us know earlier this year that there would be a new album out THIS YEAR. so naturally I was like:
Then a couple of days ago they put out this lovely message:
1) Liam and Louis look like that boy you liked in the 4th grade. You know what I'm talking about. The cute one (I dont think boys got "hot" until 6th grade) who was like, REALLY good at PE that you would tell everyone you kind of hated to throw suspension off of yourself. They are even equipped with the same windswept/gelled bangs. Why did we like that? More importantly, WHY DOES IT MAKE MY BODY FEEL LIKE THIS. Hold me, Liam.
2) My love Zayn is looking a bit too frail for my liking. He's got the hourglass shape that I've been working towards (and failing) for the past three months, and I do not approve. I actually think Liam ate Zayn, his cheeks like a bit filled out. Buy yourself a happy meal, love. I know it costs like 85 pounds in England, but still...
3) Niall sure loves his tank tops.
4) Harry wuz thurr. And his hair-helmet seems slightly less voluminous.
But the most important thing to note is that the all important sophomore album first single is fast approaching. I will thus use as little logic as I can to really break this down for all three of you that are genuinely interested. So many things go into a successful single, what with so many critics and fans to please with a signature sound while showing some sort of growth...
Lawlz.
Lets be serious, One Direction could poop on a blank CD, call it their new album, and set the price at $100000, and they would still smash every record ever thanks to the thirst of women (and some men) in the 12-22 age range. But I'm here to evaluate the full package as it becomes available. So here goes nothing. The three part analysis is as follows...
ABENA'S AMAZING BUT COMPLETELY BS ANALYSIS OF THE NEW ONE DIRECTION SINGLE
1) Title and Lyrics
So Thanks to the video we were given the single name "Live While We're Young"
First Thoughts: Ew. This is gonna be some poor attempt at a mature ballad-y man-band song in the style of every song ever that has the words "live like you're dying" or "I hope you dance" or "dance like you're tryna get some because your body wont look this good again" (thats a thing right?)
Thoughts upon further analysis: Well to be fair, who knew that "What makes you beautiful" would be as good as it was without being as ballad-y as the Backstreet song of similar name? And plus, I love most of One Direction's man-ballads. They were surprisingly not shit in the slightest, and they do them really well. So I guess it wouldn't be that bad. And plus its probably not a ballad. I feel like "Its Gotta Be You" was the least successful of the 1D singles and it was a mid-tempo sleepy affair (I say this despite my love for Zayn on this track), especially compared to One Thing and WMYB. So at this rate, this will probably be WMYB Part 3. Also because it has the same writers Savan Kotecha, Rami Yacoub (SONGWRITING GOD), and Carl Falk. I am already so excited for this that I just peed a little woops.
We were also blessed with the album title "Take Me Home"
First Thoughts: "YES. SHALL WE TAKE YOUR CAR OR MINE?"
Thoughts upon further analysis: lol this effing kids, I love them. The first album was "Up All Night", this one "Take Me Home". The next three albums will probably be "Lets Do It", "You're On the Pill, Right?" and "Songs for my Baby Mama". Ugh, this boys are reeking of reckless unprotected youthful abandon and I couldn't be happier about it. All I have to say is:
2) The Video/The "leaked" Video shoot pictures
OH NOES!! Someone not at all affiliated with the One Direction PR machine leaked some pictures of the boys at their secrete video shoot for their new song. DAMN YOU SOCIAL MEDIA FOR SPREADING THOSE PICS LIKE SMOOTH PEANUT BUTTER OVER A HOT CROISSANT.
Oh look here's one now!
1) Niall is naked. Which is a complete reversal of the WMYB shoot where he was the only one YOLOing in the ocean with his shirt on. Yay for confidence, Niall! Your six pack (and 30 pounds of padding hopefully) will grow in soon!
2) Yup, there is a giant phallic banana and squirt guns. No maturity detected on this video set. YAY FOR WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL PART 3!!
3) Why is it that all the boys are enjoying Louis' face while Harry is in the corner macking on some girl getting ready to overwhelm him? Because such is life I guess. She must be like at least 30 though for her to even be slightly believable as a possible love interest.
So we're waiting for the moving picture version of the video. I predict it will be magical and carefree and vanilla as anything.
So I guess the only thing that is missing is part 3, which is the song itself and the live performance of the song (I'll add that when they become available. So far, scowling the internets has produced absolutely no leaks. merde). Added together, these elements make or break an emerging artists' blossoming career. But again its 1D so it wont matter. As long as they stay cute and keep shelling out quality pop music, the sun will continue to set in the west, and hairflipping conquers all.
So here is me shamelessly plugging my mash-up cover of the stupidly amazing 1D song Na Na Na
cheers,
Beans.
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