...probably sucked a whole lot.
(I'm picking up blogging again while i sort out my life. So the travel blog is out becauuse i aint going no where, and a semi-regular blog on life and happenings during 4th year is in...huzzah!)
but seriously though, modern day boy bands are one of the greatest pop innovation (I'd even venture to say that they are one of my favorite innovations period...each your heart out, Eli Whitney) ever.
There's obviously a hierarchy of modern day boy bands that everyone should know. Boys II Men is holy grail. Backstreet is second (i'm pretty sure they were literally fashioned to be the white Boys II Men...i dont hate it), followed by all other wannabe groups (NSYNC* and O-town and LFO to some extent are probably somewhere close behind backstreet though, closer than the rest...oh and Westlife and Il Divo, but they're more like man-bands anyway). Sadly however, the golden era of American boy bands ended somewhere around 2002/2003, around the time you realized that Justin Timberlake was actually never going to go back to NSYNC and had used most of the Celebrity album to launch his solo career...need proof?
Just watch this video. JT basically just sings the entire song...like actually...THE ENTIRE SONG. Like obviously I love JT (Futuresex/Lovesounds is still gold), but little 12 year old me felt like I was being cheated on in front of my face. I came for the 5 piece band, and he was basically just showing off his new girlfriend ( and by new girlfriend I mean himself) rather shamelessly....BAHAHAHA just kidding, I didn't come for the 5 piece...heck, I only knew like three of their names: Justin, and JC, who i though was the real voice of the group and would have been the most successful since his head didn't look like a brillopad or broccoli** (also...why??), but then he came out with this piece of horse pizzle.
....like, actually the worst. Oh and Lance, I knew him because of that movie he made, On the line, where he met a girl on the bus or subway or something, and then tried to find her...he's definitely come (out) a long way since then...
But anyway, this isn't about them. While Americans have long given up on the boy band (JoBros dont count because...well, they're the Jonas Bros...and got wiped out immediately by Justin Bieber), the Brits are just keeping it coming, and I love them for it. In the last two years, we've gotten bands like JLS, the Wanted, and my new favorites, One direction (which this post is actually about). Though JLS is more tinged with an R&B feel (mainly because they're all black), and fights the Wanted (more standard pop, but in a way that they seem to believe they are serious musicians, which is just too funny) for the 18-24 age group of thirsty females, One Direction's appeal is their bubblegum-poppiness that appeals to the Beliebers (around 12-18 year old biddies) ...and me. I mean, they are just the muffiny-est group of toddler-looking 17-19 year olds (that i'm mildly attracted to), and I have no shame in saying that I love their stuff. Pop in its purest (and best) form for whatever reason resides in Scandanavia, with the Swedes having a pretty awesome monopoly on some of the best pop i've ever heard, so its no surprise that I love One Direction so much, seeing as most of their songs are written by Max Martin and Rami Yacoub (just look up their discography and see the wealth of amazing songs they have written...like, can you imagine being in that room when it was done? literally my dream job). I'm pretty sure I am the reason why 1D could be huge in the US. Mainly because I've stuffed "What makes you Beautiful" down the ears of every single person i've met within the last three months. Just in case you've missed it, here you go:
Just...ugh, love it. This video and song just embodies so much about what i like about pop:
1) the 5 member band. Obviously only three of them are super important. Liam is the foundation. Consistently solid vocals, always starts songs and has really good pitch, decently attractive now that he doesn't flat iron his hair anymore. Harry is like the face of the group (you always need a face of the group). Always gets a lot of solos in songs because his voice has texture (but sometimes he tends to sound like a chainsmoker) and he's the cutest, so you forgive his vocal struggles sometimes. Zayn is the ethnic one (you ALWAYS need an ethnic one), who is also extremely strong vocally (has the most interesting voice, can warble and do runs like nobody's business...plus he's the most attractive). Then there's the other two. Louis is like...reeeeally pretty. and I guess you need someone on the high harmonies. and Niall is just there for hair diversity...oh and he's Irish. but i always root for the underdogs so I like them too. They're a five member band where the last two members dont take away from the group or make you think less of the whole. Solid. But it definitely explains why there are only 3 girls for the 5 of them in this video...
2) Song that pander to the slightly insecure female fangroup. "You dont know you're beautiful...that's what makes you beautiful". Lyrical genius that is (not really). But its so catchy you just want to believe it, you know. For serious, I could probably go lift a car thanks to the uplifting message of the song based solely on my outward physical appearance (actually not serious at all). Its like that backstreet boys song with a very similar name ("what makes you different, makes you beautiful") but with less weepy ballad-y sound and more driving uptempo sugary goodness. They could have used some uglier girls in the video though. All three of them (ahem, once more, three...not five) were clearly aware of their gorgeousness, obviously displayed by their gratuitous hair flipping.
3) pretty mediocre but catchy lyrics (I smile at the ground all the time, what are you talking about), a fantastic middle eight (harry's bits), and an explosive chorus which have pretty great harmonies when its done live = all it takes to make me smile...and probably cry of happiness.
I wish I could explain it better. But boy bands and pop music in general take me back to a time in my life that wasn't bogged down by stress, schoolwork, future plans, and general adult problems. The peak of this carefree living for me was circa 1997 when all that would bother me was which backstreet boy would marry which spice girl in the game I made up called backstreet boys and spice girls (for the record, it was always nick and baby, ginger and bryan, scary and aj, howie and sporty, and posh and kevin...duh). Life's gotten harder since, but its nice to chill out or dance like a fool (or like Robyn) at a club or in your room by yourself to some great pop, especially when life's bringing you down a bit. its almost therapeutic.
...as long as its not absolute shite like that one JLS song, "The club is alive".
Anyway, the point of this post was supposed to be a review of their album preview haha. So here goes. based on thirty second clips of all the songs that aren't their two singles (no i cant wait for the stupid album to come out). Here's the least informative (and probably only) album preview review you'll ever read.
1. One thing - sounds almost exactly like what makes you beautiful, so natch, i love it. so much SUGAR, SO SWEET AND POPPY. this, WMYB, and Nanana are the trifecta
2. Save you Tonight - sounds like a typical RedOne song. meh. "I can't be no superman, but for you i'll be superhuman"...what? no. so basically you wont be an alien who is allergic to green rocks, but you kind of will... okay, bro
3. Stole my heart - Louis/Niall sings??? (can't actually tell who it is, but I dont think it is the triumpherate of greatness). but I'm digging it...like, dancing on elevated surfaces material. oh wait. second listen, i know why i like it. sounds a bit like Dynamite (taio cruz)...still not a bad thing
4. More than this - BALLAD. i'm going to cry. sweet 6 pound 7 ounce baby Jesus, Harry's voice is PERFECT for this...yup, just cried a little bit.
5. Up all night- "i wanna stay up all night and do it all with you?" hmmm...sounds sexual. ew. you're like 12.
6. I wish- this one's stupid. this is the song that the eurolurker (see a previous post on that) is singing to himself in the corner of the club while watching you dance across the room. not cute
7. Tell me a Lie- Zayn on lead + Kelly Clarkson (obviously so) written song??? YES...except for that "hold it against me" grating bass or whatever it is.
8. Taken- sounds like a boyzone or bbmak song. so again, love it.
9. I want - Tom Fletcher from Mcfly DEFINITELY wrote this. it has Mcfly written all over it, probably why i love it. Like, i can hear Tom and Danny trading off at the chorus. Sounds like a mix of Transylvania and Corrupted. both great songs.
10. Everything about you - this one's stupid too.
11. Same mistakes - STOP REPEATING WORDS. ITS STUPID.
Haha I am not anticipating a career reviewing albums. I clearly dont have a way with words. but its obvious that no matter how good or bad most of these songs are, pre-teen biddies will be losing their skirts and their parent's money tryna buy this album.
oh well. Dont really know how to end this. Too many thoughts.
Cheers,
Beanie
*Haters who put NSYNC over Backstreet, I will fight you.
** I'm just still bitter that he's not making music anymore, sorry. I just want another "Summer love", dammit. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK??? none of that "Carry out" crap, please.
