Do you ever get super defensive over a song when a new song comes out with the same title? Like, without even hearing the actual new song, you decide in your mind that the 'original' song is a masterpiece that will forever be second to none? Maybe I'm alone in this, but irrational mind did this when Justin Bieber's 'As long As You Love Me.' Especially since I am disturbingly territorial about the Backstreet Boys, I don't think I went out of my way to listen to Bieber's song for the longest time, just on principle. But realistically, they were two different songs. And despite sharing 6 words, they don't even sound remotely alike. But there always has to be a winner and a loser in these things ya know. So in my free-time (lunch break), I have decided to figure all that out for all of those people out there that wanted the answers (so, no one). Here's a first batch!
Song Title Wars part 1
Song: As Long As You Love MeThe Incumbent: Backstreet Boys
Key Points: Considering this is one of my top 5 favorite BSB songs, it's just gonna be pretty hard to beat from the get go. It is written by the greatest pop lyrical genius of all time, Max Martin. Yeah upon further inspection as a non-8 year old, the lyrics are a bit suspect. Manti Te'o probably listened to this song every night after getting off the phone with Lennay Kukua. But there's just something quite magical about them at the same time. The song is heavy on 2/3 of the Nick-Brian-AJ vocal trio of greatness, with AJ being the odd-man out this time. Big shout out to Kev and Howie, though. This song wouldn't be nearly as good without all the harmonies, and they lay it on thick like butter on Paula Deen's buiscuits. The bridge into the last chorus and the descant of sorts on top of it is just lovely. Also, Nick's "Yeah-ah-ah" wins. every. time.
Video Bonus: Oh man, so many things. Nick's visual peak/bowl cut, and the fact that this video was filmed during that weirdly short window where his voice matched his face perfectly (He still sounds like he is 17 when he sings even though he's like thirty, but I dont even care). Kevin's eyebrows, THE FANTASTIC CHAIR DANCING, jeans and black (always a good look), and of course, the stunning ethnic diversity of the women in the video. As usual, I pretended I was the black girl.
Key Points: So despite my initial resistance when it first came out, I do really like this song. Justin sounds good, and it fit perfectly into the mainstream pop that was big when it came out out, especially with the dub-steppy beat. I've enjoyed Bieber's voice even when he sounded like a little girl all of two years ago, so hearing this was pretty cool. And the falsetto bit where he sings "lo-lo...-love me" is actually a great pop moment, mostly because you're not expecting it. The lyrics aren't on the 'Liquid Dreams' (Shout out to O-town letting me drop my name in that song every once in a while. "I dream about a girl who's a mix of Destiny's Child, just a little pinch of ABENA's wild style, and Janet Jackson's smile...") end of the wackness scale, but they aren't all that great either. But like, Big Sean, what the hell? Every time I hear the rap, this is how I feel:
Video Bonus: wait, I've never watched this before. What the hell is going on? I'll give a bonus for Justin Bieber's music career, because clearly acting shouldn't be his thing. Also, I'm uncomfortable with justin bieber's fetus looking self getting cozy with a girl. Okay, I do like the dancing. So that's good.
Verdict: Backstreet wins. Though the BSB song sounds ever so slightly dated compared to Justin's attempt to stay with the current pop standards, never underestimate the value of 3-part harmony and chair dancing.
Song: Sober
The Incumbent: Pink
Key Points: Can we just talk for a minute about how great Pink's voice is? Even though she can get kind of annoying when she's in her niche of "tough girl' power pop (a la So What, Raise Your Glass etc.), when she's a bit more stripped down the rocky quality of her voice really shines through and you realize how emotive her voice can be. This song is a classic case of that. And the lyrics are pretty interesting. It might be about love, relationships,or alcohol, or an abstract entity that I haven't even thought of, but it can be taken so many ways, which is kind of cool.
Video Bonus: Okay, never seen this one before either. Props for Pink looking pretty...while helping herself throw up? wait, what??? Op, and now we've entered some clean white room and she's got a dramatic haircut. I don't know. Props for looking like Sia before Sia was a thing I guess...Aaaaaand she's making ot with herself. Bonus for just weirding everyone out, but owning it. You do you, Pink. You do you.
The Challenger: Jade Alston
Video Bonus: all the bonus points because this video is the premise of all my elementary school birthday parties, making videos and dances with my friends to Destiny's Child songs. It was clearly made on a budget of the 5 dollars of gas money it took her friends to show up at her house, but its great.
Verdict: By the slimmest of margins, Jade wins. I love Pink and she really does kill it vocally on Sober, but the freshness of Jade's song just hits the spot.
Song: Stutter
The Incumbent: Joe
Key Points: OH MY WORD DOES ANYONE REMEMBER THIS JAM? This song was all sorts of perfect in 2000. The intro is amazing. He makes no effort to rhyme except for like twice (you with you, naturally), he's just like, talking haha. But it doesn't even matter. Its was like the younger version of 'Busted' by the Isley Brothers (epic song in the continuum of "I caught you cheating" tracks), the male version of 'Say My Name' and the accidental prelude to 'Cry Me A River' (from the content and the camcorder work in the video) all rolled into one. And he actually stutters when he says stutter. Also, the Mystikal Remix is the only acceptable version of this song. Mostly because he screams "WATCH YOURSELF" (a la 'shake it fast'. haha i always like the censored title better) and name checks Wafflehouse. And he says, "YOU BETTA RESPECT MA FLOW' (Mystikal only speaks in all caps). Mad Respec, Mystikal. There's a video going around where the kid asks a generation "What will be your Space Jam?" But what I really want to know is who will be their Mystikal?
Video Bonus: I'm still super confused as to what is even going on in the video, but I guess that's a good thing. Also, Fubu is alive and well.
The Challenger: Maroon 5
Key Points: Haha well this song couldn't be more different. If I get I understand the lyrics correctly, The stuttering here is due to being so in love with someone that it just kind of leaves you speechless? Alrighty then. This song is pretty great either way. You honestly can't go wrong with heavy piano (its in there under all the guitars). And as hot and cold as I am with Adam Levine's aesthetic qualities (he flips between slimy looking and genuinely attractive so easily to me), I'm almost always down with his voice. The melody chorus chorus just makes you wanna two step and smile. Oh and most importantly, he does stutter when he says "stutter," which is again crucial.
Video Bonus: no official video, which is quite annoying. But thank the Lord for live videos. You can hear the piano, which to me is the most important. And there's often a third harmony on the "be with you/you and me always" line
Verdict: Joe wins. As much as I love it, Maroon 5 never really stood a chance.
There's loads more multiple-offender song titles, so I'm going to have fun with this over the next (however long my attention span will allow it)! Suggestions are always welcome!
Beans
