British Airways, wtf.

Maybe it’s because it has been a solid year since I’ve flown anywhere, and on top of that, over two years since I’ve done the grueling 7 hours to London, 4+ hour layover, 8 hours to Accra flights, but I now remember that I HATE flying. I think what happened was that I got jaded by the those United Dulles to Accra 9 hour flights. I continue to stand by my hatred for that airline and everything about it, but I think that it just ended with me romanticizing flying on British Airways. Well guess what? My love/love relationship is over. Sad times.

Here’s the reasons why this 2 day adventure was mis:

1.       I initially had the idea of doing a blog comparing my generation to my 12 year old sister’s. Here’s how the conversation went…

Me: Amy, I’m going to do a blog about how my generation is better than your generation, so you need to tell me music and television that your people (tweens) like and I can compare it to my superior stuff

Amy: What? Why?...Okay. How about the Hunger Games?

Me: You can’t claim that. That’s mine.

Amy: Why? You haven’t even finished the book (note: that’s false. I’ve barely started the book. That’s more accurate). And it came out more recently

Me: no Amy, I’m thinking more like the Hannah Montanas, and Justin Biebers and the Carly Rae Jepsens. And all those horrid Disney channel shows.

Amy: I don’t like any of those things.

So eventually I learned that Amy is much cooler than I ever was at 12, and that I wasn’t really giving teens and tweens a fair chance (mostly because my teen and tween years WERE actually superior in terms of television and musical content…sorry, I’m doing it again). So since I was leaving the country soon, it only seemed right that I try and rot my brain as much as possible while I still have a steady internet stream. Of course the best way to do this is Marathoning. You know, when you watch a TV show back to back to back for as long as possible, coming up for air only to go to the bathroom and sleep. Real Marathoners go hard and take the computer with them to the bathroom in order to stay in the rhythm and not lose momentum, but to each his own method. When it comes down to it, I’m pretty much an Olympian at this. I’d heard some things (good and bad) about the show Teen Wolf, and decided to go for the Marathon and then compare it to a similar show that I watched at that age, “Big Wolf On Campus” (props to anyone that remembers that).

I'm pretty sure I was in love. WOOF WOOF!

 Well, long story short, I haven’t gotten around to rewatching the pilot of BWOC because I AM HOOKED ON THE TEEN WOLF (I will eventually though!). I dont know if its actually aimed at teens and tweens, but there is so much good going on in that show (plus the BEST soundtrack), but I really can't stop watching. This is also coming from girl who lives for shows like Footballers' Wives and the Bachelor/Bachelorette, so I dont really know if I'm actually a good judge of quality. But had we not left for the airport, I would have finished season one all on Monday. So I was so angry when traveling cut this addiction short.

Doesn't this make it look like the worst show of all time? Shockingly it isn't.

2.       Flying is usually fun because you can people watch like nobody’s business. For me, it extends a bit further. Usually you can pick out an attractive person and see the odds of you seeing them multiple times between checking in and boarding. And every time you do see them, you have to try to draw attention to yourself to see if they notice you. In a perfect world they would notice you and happen to be getting on the same plane and be seated within casual conversation distance, thus creating a sort of 7 hour whirlwind airport romance. It’s usually not very hard because hot people are always traveling. However, on August 13^th, 2012, all the pH 14 people IN THE WORLD must have decided to take the British Airways flight to London because it was abysmal. There was actually for the first time ever, NO ONE of interest on my flight. And if I even for a minute thought that someone was attractive, the other shoe would drop. The other shoe was usually their 15 kids and/or tacky and loud outfits. Denim on denim on denim is NOT a good look, kids. 

3.       None of my favorite Olympians got inexplicably trapped at Heathrow long enough for me to get pictures with them/be their best friends/soulmates. I’d been counting on that. (on a positive note though, I did see the Brazilian Paralympic Team!). Pas bon fromage.

4.       There was this super cute couple in front of me at the British Airways check-in. They had two sets of twin girls, the most adorable girls in the entire world (Which is saying a lot because I dont even like girls). Then I saw that they were on both of my flights and my heart just sank. Crying. Babies. Every. Hour. Of. The. Flight. I KID YOU NOT. I know I know I am horrible and they’re just kids and they popping of the ears probably hurt then a lot. I DON’T CURR. I was over it the very first minute. 

5.       Horrible neighbors. Everyone who knows me knows that I am a people pleaser, almost to a fault. But I almost couldn't handle the people I had to sit next to. Mom, Al, and Amy were together so I had to bite the stranger danger bullet. First this old man and his old wife pretended not to understand/speak english as the pushed my seat  repeatedly. Then old girl tried to steal my blanket. I actually grew a pair (I was surprised too) and didn't give in. THEN old man spilled his drink on me (which too be fair was probably an accident), and then laughed at me….no, he CACKLED. I was so livid I ALMOST gave them a death stare...almost. And then on the second flight, the man next to me dressed in all white like he was going to a Diddy party asks me for my pen. I mean, it doesn't sound that bad, but it really annoyed me. It wasn't like I wasn't using the pen, I was. I was clearly and very vocally involved in solving the crossword puzzle. He sees this and still asks me, even though his thing could have waited until any other time on the flight. ugh, whatever.

6.       Gritty British dramas – I love them but I hate them. I feel like Brits just aren’t into happiness all that much. Other than 'Love, Actually,' 'Bridget Jones,' and  maybe a couple of other films, all the british drama that I get exposed to leaves me depressed and sad because inevitably your favorite character dies horrifically in one way or another. I missed the start of Avengers on my TV thing, so I started watching this film called 'Wild Bill.'

 It’s actually rather cute when you read the description. Basically, a deadbeat dad gets out of prison after serving eight years for drugs and battery and comes back to try and take care of his two sons who have their own normal adolescent problems, LIKE DEALING CRACK, GETTING WITH TEEN MOMS AND WORKING CONSTRUCTION TO AFFORD TOAST FOR DINNER EVERY NIGHT. So the movie is going along and there’s lots of shouting and swearing and instructional footing on how to make crack. But I can never enjoy it fully because I'm anxiously waiting for the 11 year old to get shanked or shot in the head because that's just how British dramas end. It actually wasn't that extreme as it turns out, and it was a really good enjoyable movie (shockingly). The dad really grows on you and it also stars Ewan Rhoen of Misfits fame as the teen mom’s babby daddy (maybe not his best work) and that annoying tit Eustis from the third Narnia movie. Except he suffers from Freddy Highmore/that kid from love actually syndrome where they’re like 6 feet tall now, but still have the faces of ten year olds. Its pretty disconcerting when he’s trying get his mack on with teen mom.

His birth certificate says he's 19 (what) but his face screams WAAAAH I MADE A POOP IN MY DIAPER

 But basically all I want is super Vanilla Disney disney endings. IS THAT SO BAD?

7.    Finally, Baggage claim. We got in at 8:30...and we left baggage claim at 10:30. TWO HOURS??? This was Southwest Airlines baggage claim/Joe Jackson level bad. Bags were everywhere scattered everywhere, people were hostile, and it was just the most epic fail of airport happenings known to man. I guess 6 planes landed at the same time, and everyone lost their minds.  

But I'm here! And leave for Takoradi tomorrow!  Off to take full advantage of this jetlag 

Abena