Oh man oh man, what a dramatic first game Poland-Greece was. Poland destroying the right side early, a solid header from the increasingly attractive Lewandowski to start off, Refs making harsh calls and non-calls (do they think this is Boston-Miami? lock it up), 2 players sent off (Wojciech showing his age a little bit), a saved penalty on a first touch by the replacement goalie for Poland, a goal called offside, and overall Greece rising from the dead in the second half. Talk about a way to open the tournament.
Things noted: Poland's team...much more attractive than initially anticipated. Hello Obraniak and Perquis, Welcome to the club.
Tyra taught Ludovic here how to sm-eyez.
hey boy hey
Then there was the Russia-Czech Republic game. Andrey and Tomas's adorableness as captains, Howard Webb being pretty fair as a ref despite being a dick on the reg, Jesus playing for the czechs, Everybody on Russia (except for Andrey, who is 12. seriously. he and his child could be brothers) looking like they could hurt you in hand to hand combat, all of the holes on the left side of the czech republic defense that lead to the first two goals, and then the Russians just letting guns blaze.
Also, CAN WE TALK ABOUT MICHAEL F. BALLACK FOR A MOMENT? My favorite Mr. "I've always liked 2nd place better than 1st anyway" is sitting very pretty next to the occasional tool that is the Ginger Prince of American Soccer, Alexi Lalas, using his talents at ESPN for Euro 2012 coverage. Why is his presence so great?
1. His english is precious: He is clearly probably fluent in conversational english, but not so much in the kind of language needed for close analyses in this setting. Nevertheless, his words still hold value, and it looks like he is reading off his piece of paper for the complex stuff.
2. He is so tan and good-looking: good Lord, does he know how to work a black on black suit-shirt combo or what? He's had his fashion faux-pas' in the past, like this one:
Its like a Kaleidoscope threw up on his shirt.
but when he wants to he can really turn it out. I wish I could screen cap it so the world would see.
3. He doesn't take scheisse from nobody...: Bob Ley and Alexi are trying to add some spice to their commentary, get him in on some jokes...Michael says, "danke, aber nein.":
hahahahaha not really. but like, basically.
He's all business. Or doesn't understand the lingo exactly (see point number one). Example:
Bob Ley: Who do you like in this group, Michael
Michael Ballack: it doesn't matter who I like. Here's who is going to win...
Bob Ley:...(probably thinking yeah thats what i meant but whatever)
or when Alexi was like "You're a good looking man but I'm going to have to disagree with you" and Michael give the shortest laugh (a smirk really) and then went into:
but he's loosening up. Kinda. Gah he is great.
But tomorrow some of us that dont have 8 bloody hours of no-fun will get to see the Group B matches. As soon as I and the rest of the world saw this groups line ups, it was pretty freaking obvious that this was the "Group of Death": Germany, Denmark, Portugal, and the Netherlands. It could easily have been referred to as the "Group of incomparable beauty." So whatever, here are the matches!
Netherlands vs. Denmark:
Denmark:
Danesssssssss
Fun Facts about Denmark the country: home of Alphabeat: my preferred 7-piece pop group out there right now, norse Gods (Almighty Johnsons for the win!), and apparently the happiest people anywhere.
If you're not watching this show, you probably dont live in New Zealand. Regardless, you're missing out.
Reasons to like them:
1. Morten Olsen: the coach! I'm all about loyalty, and this dude's been the Danish coach sine 2000. He's stepping down after Euro, but he's credited with helping reach championships and such. Team is affectionately called Olsen's Eleven.
2. Nicklas Bendtner: Super Nick is a character to say the least. Formerly a pink-booted Arsenal man, he now plows his trade somewhere that I dont care about (...or maybe its Sunderland, I dunno). Confident is an understandment when it comes to him but his feet dont always follow his mouth. But he had a baby with Danish pseudo-royalty and his pretty good looking, so he's got that going for him
"I am one of the best strikers in the world". i love ya Nick, but that is #shitnoonesaysaboutyou
2. Simon Kjaer: because he looks like an Angel...with sleeve tattoos. but still. angelic.
yup heaven's that way.
3. Daniel Agger: Tough defender. Super cute. He's a tattoo artist! Norse god-like if I ever saw one
an oldie but a goody.
Netherlands:
Wahoowa orange is a great color.
Fun Facts about the Netherlands the country: home of everyone with the last name Van something, model Doutzen Kroes, and my homegirl Jenna Schilstra's dad. and the best kits still!
Reasons to like them:
1. The WAGs. The wives and girlfriends of these players are among my favorite, and should probably be yours as well.
a)
Bouchra Van Persie: she is the Queen of my heart. Moroccan-dutch,
married to Arsenal Captain Robin van Persie (there is a clear Arsenal
bias in this blog), and mother of two kidnappable kids, Shaqueel
(SHAQUEEL VAN PERSIE IS THE FUTURE) and Dina. She is beautiful and just a
boss.
being flawless with Robin
b) Sylvie van de
vaart: probably head of the Dutch wags. Sylvie is married to Rafael Van
de Vaart (who plays for scum). She's known for her big eyes and big
hair. She also beat cancer. She is a survivor in 7 inch heels. and she
rocked a orange dutch dress for the last euros.
there's
a precious story about how she was worried about losing all her hair
when she had cancer, and Rafa told her he loved her no matter what she
looked like and how it gave her confidence to appear on dutch tv without
a wig. 4 for you, Rafa!
2. Nigel de Jong: He's pretty well known
for Karate chopping Xabi Alonso during the World Cup and general
murderous challenges (as my mother always says "if you dont get the
ball, get the man"). Between him and Van Bommel ( another holding mid at
its fiestiest) They WILL get the ball back at all costs. so you know, if you're into that.
3. Gregory Van de Wiel: just hope that the players trade jerseys at the end. s'all i'm saying...
"its alright son, everyone loses their jersey sometimes"
Based on nothing, the winner will be: The Flying Dutchmen!
Portugal vs Germany
Portugal:
Someone once asked in high school "why didn't spain just invade portugal?"
Fun facts about Portugal the country: home of the coolest language ever, Jose Mourinho, and original home of the parents of Lucenzo, who changed my life with this song:
...so good.
Reasons to like them:
1. Cristiano Ronaldo: Okay, I actually was not the biggest CR7 fan. Absolutely hated him at Manchester United. But since his move to Real Madrid he's become a lot more tolerable. And you can't deny he's a baller. This picture doesn't hurt though.
casual.
Irina, his beard (Cris and Kaka one true pairing 4 lyfe)
...but as is probably obvious I get attached to couples a lot (POSH AND BECKS 4 LYFE), and I like his WAG decently enough. Irina Shayk is a Russian model. Has an interesting upper lip, but overall is super model gorgeous.
2. Fabio Ceontrao: I dunno he's adorbs. and his hair looks like fireworks
he gets Rod Stewart hair from time to time.
3. Nelson Oliviera: I remember this guy from the u-20 World Cup last year! He has Zayn from one direction hair on good days. On off days he doesn't look bad though. I think he's one to watch. Mostly because everyone and their mother says its CR and Nani, but I hate Nani and dont advocate anyone liking him.
gets to play with the big boys now
Germany:
OH ZE GERMAAANS ARE HERE
Fun Facts about Germany the country: I went there once for a wedding when I was 5, home of Fettes Brot a german rap group (see video below), and a weirdly loyal following of David Hasslehoff
...think German beastie boys.
Reasons to like them:
1. Jogi Loew: He will undoubtedly be the best dressed coach at the tournament. Since Klinsy's with us now, Jogi is leading the way in clean coaching fashion. I hope he brings the casual grandpa sweater back.
he's just giving them out now, innit?
2. ALL OF THE MUFFINS: are on this team- Holger, Thomas, Mats, Mesut, Sami, Basti, Lukas, and more! I am indeed on a first name basis with all of them and they are beyond adorable. Even Mario Gomez, who you might not understand at first. But he grows on you. Check out Holger (German Justin Bieber) and Basti dancing:
3. German WAGs: they all look like generally nice girls who have been dating their men since birth and then decided to get married and be happy forever.
Thomas Mueller and Lisa Mueller. So freaking cute.
Today marks the start of the European Football Championship. And I am as giddy as this girl right here on this giant christmas tree:
i seriously can't look at this picture without laughing
The last go around was so much fun to watch, with the Spanish team finally losing their title of perennial losers (as my Uncle always described them) and being drunk the whole rest of the summer into their respective club seasons (I'm talking to you, Cesc), Not even realizing the English weren't there, Germans being Germans (clinical as per usual), and the Dutch being scary good at the beginning and the most sharply dressed with their hot retro-style kits:
BEST. KITS. EVER. the collar. the sock color. the fit. Literally perfect.
I can only hope that this year's affair will be just as exciting, entertaining, and aesthetically pleasing (both the footy and the men). Since Euro 2008 we've gotten to witness the emergence of a crap ton of young talents (lots of which was on display at the World Cup two years ago). True talent always seems to show its colors during big championships so I'm excited for more break out performances. The drama's already started off the pitch (racist wank cant stop wont stop) (more racism wank), but hopefully the focus can shift to the performances on the pitch pretty soon.
Not that I'm one to focus solely on the football though. There's so much that goes into this, and I plan to indulge in all of it. Like for instance, the official song of the tournament:
...not bad. It reminds me a lot of "No Speak Americano" which isn't necessarily a bad thing if you like bouncy songs most likely played at boat bars on the River Rhone in Lyon like I do (WAAAAH LYON ME MANQUE). It doesn't have anything to do with football, but makes use of great footage from the last championship and has lots of superfluous juggling of soccer balls and half-dressed women, which is always exciting (Enrique taught her well). Its an interesting (weird) choice of sound for the official song though, given that the tournament is set in Eastern Europe, but whatever.The individual country songs are always more fun and on point anyway. Like this Irish one:
Its exactly what you'd expect it to be haha. Someone probably will beat the Irish, but you've got to admire their spirit you know? The German one's all show-tuney (but again, I love ze Germans), The Dutch one has a whole bunch of ducks (wait, the dutch are so good at this. or bad, i can't tell yet), the Spanish have the Ava Maria guy (I'm ALL about this. I belong in a european dance club. I would thrive like no other), the Danes went boyband-rapper chic and i dont hate it at all, and England did whatever this is (its quite catchy though), Those are all I've found so far, but the night is young (jk its not. I have studying to do. I can't be looking up unofficial songs all night...i would though).
But back to the football...kind of. The first day's games go to group A and one half of the hosts. Poland plays Greece and later Russia plays the Czech Republic. Because all I'm good for is watching and enjoying the games and reacting to what I see in the most obvious of ways, I can't offer any real/intelligent analysis of who is better or who might win. So I'm going to do what I do best: make rash judgements based on unimportant things, and give uninformative reasons for the casual fan to support a team.
Poland vs. Greece
Poland:
Hi Lu-Lu!
Fun Facts about Poland the country: the home of the sports camp my church runs, Marie Curie, and Agnieszka Radwanska of tennis semi-fame (if you're into tennis like I am).
Reasons to like them:
1. Wojciech Szczesny (pronounced Voy-check Chesney): He is my Arsenal goalkeeper and a general goofball (our other goalie is Polish too actually, Lukas Fabianski. Often called "Flappy-hands-ski". Probably why he isn't on the squad oops. Woj is better). He speaks kinda like a brit since he's been wih Arsenal forever. He has his own series on the Arsenal Website where he challenges his teammates to do stuff. basically he's the personality man.
2. Robert Lewandowski: Plays for Dortmund in Germany, who just won the Bundesliga (pretty sure he was player of the year). He's like 23 and has 42 caps for Poland and 14 goals, so he's definitely one to watch. He's kinda cute...
...if you're into the perpetual bedroom eyes look (like he's about to fall asleep kinda way...and scarves).
3. Sebastian Boenisch: Plays for Werder Bremen. Is pretty. but looks like he smelled a fart in most of his pictures. Homeboy can't smile properly. this one's fine though. He probably enjoys long walks on the beach.
Greece:
Opa!
Fun Facts about Greece the country: the home of the 2004 Olympics, a lot of debt, Winner of the 2004 European Championship, home of Zeus and his posse of gods
Reasons to like them:
1. Their away shirts are BALLER and far superior to their home shirts.
2. Sotiris Ninis: Look at his muffin. How could you not like him?
he looks like a child you would steal.
3. This guy:
...despite his awful hair, he might have a secret passion for classical opera and baking. But you wouldn't know that because you didn't look twice because of his awful terrible hair. Take a chance on him, ladies.
Based on nothing, i predict the win here goes to: Poland!
Russia vs. Czech Republic
Russia:
this is just an excuse to put Marat's picture up.
Fun
Facts about Russia the country: the home of the most angry but beautiful man to ever grace a tennis court (and now a member of Parliment!) Marat Safin (pictured above. google him), location of THE BEST wildlife documentary series "Wild Russia" (Animal Planet, watch it), and home of vodka
Reasons to like them:
1. Andre Arshavin: full time footballer with a fashion degree who answers questions in the silliest of ways on his website. I still consider him an Arsenal man even though he is on loan and didn't really do much on the pitch for us the last two years. He's my favorite 15 year old looking 31 year old. Had a budding bromance with Nicklas Bendtner before Nicky got shipped off to wherever.
2. Aleksandr Kerzhakov: because he's got some stuff (Bridesmaids reference, thank you)...in a terminator I might kill you kinda way
hey boy hey
3. Yuri Zhirkov: because he's got oldface and a funny rude-sounding last name
i should have just put another picture of Marat up...
Czech Republic:
Fun
Facts about Czech Republic the country: Was formerly known as Bohemia, and home of Frank Kafka
Reasons to like them:
1. Milan Baros: mostly because hoo know he was still around? Like, whats he been doing? Finding himself? Emmaus Walk?
he'll always be my favorite first guy who tackled Xabi after that penalty put-back in the Champions League Final to me.
2. TOMAS ROSICKY: this man deserves all caps and all of your love. he is an Arsenal man (previously perpetually injured) and a Spice Boy (part of the Arsenal epic bromance that i'll always remember from 2006/2007/2008). He has the silliest hair which he wears long and parts down the middle (I forgive it though). but when he is on, man is he on. soccer-wise, obviously. and he reacts to goals like this a lot.
i just love him so much.He's like an anime character.
3. Theodor Gebre Selassie: Half Czech, half Ethiopian, first black player to play for the team. If you dont support that, you're probably a racist. Plus he looks like he has silky smooth skin.
shame about these kits though. To be fair, I've never been a huge fan of Puma.
Based on nothing, i predict the win here goes to: I'm thinking it'll be a tie, but if I had to, I'd say Russia.
So onto the games! Goodness I love football.
Here is a gratuitous picture of a non-European football hottie (because they need love too):
Carlos Bocanegra. If I were American, I'd be proud.
You know, graduation is a weird thing. Its the strangest mix of emotions (aka things I hate). One moment you're excited to be done with undergraduate classes, 8ams, all-nighters in your living room and/or Clemons, and freaking out about grades, credits, and theses, and you're patting yourself on the back for a good four years while jamming to this:
...and the next thing you know you're crying in your room, hugging your Ariel blanket and listening to Vitamin C's graduation song on repeat for hours.
Or maybe this was just the last two weeks before May 20th for me. But it happened. I got that diploma (or rather, I got a rolled up piece of blank cardstock with a promise of a delivered diploma to my house on approximately July 10th). So now real life is supposed to begin all Sex and the City-like, right?
...right?
Right!! you know, once you replace the City with Centreville, VA and sex with lying on the couch watching X-men: First Class 8 times.
Only one qualm. okay well two: 1. January Jones was literally useless. 2. Magneto and Professor X are the couple in this movie. no one else.
Needless to say post-grad life has so far been thoroughly unexciting (Dont get me wrong though, I loved X-men a lot...though I'm still smh at the black dude dying first). I avoided the "what are you doing with the rest of your life" talk for about 36 hours after I got back home. It didn't end with me being the happiest, but at least I have a semblance of a two year plan for my life. Unfortunately that also means no extravagant summer life like I'd hoped. Given job and internship applications, MCAT and GRE classes and exams, applying to any and all schools that would accept me for whatever reasons short of bribery, and being he professional chauffeur for my siblings, it doesn't look like I'm going anywhere anytime soon.
BUT. I'm not throwing myself a pity party. Instead I'm going to throw myself back into blogging and writing. With all the verbal reasoning, physical sciences, biogical sciences, analytical writing, quantitative reasoning, cover letters, and modified resumes that a girl's gotta get through this summer, I need another outlet.
Thus all I can say is THANK GOODNESS for sports this summer!!! The line-up this summer is as good as it was 4 years ago, and I plan to indulge in all of it, and share with the interworld the embarrasing way in which I think about and watch sports! We've got Euro 2012 (tomorrow!! a post about it will be up soon), THE OLYMPICS, the French Open (semis and finals left), Wimbledon, the NBA Finals, Summer rugby internationals, World Cup Qualifiers, and so much more!!!
Between all of that, casual postings about my actual life, and a frequent TOP5 posting, I'll at least have fun with myself in between practice tests and rejection letters from jobs.
Though it started off looking bleak, this summer has the propensity to be pretty freakin chill...
So its no secret that I am emphatically obsessed with the 5-piece muffin set that is One Direction. In a strictly musical sense of course (OmGzzzzz MaRry m3 ZAYN I LUFF YOUUUU...haha). I did an album preview review, which was good fun, as I love passing judgement based on 30 second clips. But I have recently heard (and by heard I mean played non stop for the past 3 weeks) the album in its entirety, and I must say I am impressed. Its inoffensive boy-band pop (only my favorite genre of music, naturally), exactly how it should be. The thing I love about these boys is that they aren't trying too hard, and genuinely seem like they are having fun. I love the Wanted and JLS as much as the next british pre-teen fangirl, but there is always a lot of "serious-face" going on, like they're trying to prove that they are credible musicians or something (Although She Makes Me Wanna Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh doesn't really send the message across too well). 1D is just a bunch of 17-19 year olds having a laugh, singing catchy songs, and being adored by biddies along the way, and I think it's that self awareness that they have that makes their music so easy to listen to*. I mean, I doubt they've had enough life experience to talk about all the breaking of hearts that they seem to feel in all of their mid-tempo ballads (new game: take a drink every time you hear the word breaking...keep 911 on speed-dial. seriously), but you kinda just go with it, because you know they know their audience. Its marketing brilliance, really.
So here is my song by song analysis, given that I dont know how else to do this:
1. What Makes You Beautiful - I feel like I've beat this song to death with every person I've ever encountered, but it still hasn't gotten old to me. It is just a perfect care-free pop anthem. I can't wait to get my braids done so I can flip my hair with authority for all the boys waiting to be overwhelmed. If anything, I think I appreciate this song even more after hearing them sing it live (minus the Black & Red performance. we just dont talk about that.)
This was them one the extra factor singing a shorten version. Many things are apparent here. Their usual stylist got trapped in the toilet, and didn't have enough time to get Louis his usual horizontal striped top and red chinos, and Zayn's missing his letterman jacket. Tragic. Harry still figured out how to pick out his woman's blazer though. Speaking of the floppy haired one, Harry's confidence is has been rising and rising, and he sings his solo bits with ease now. Also, Zayn's little ad-libs and bits are perfect. vocally you can definitely tell that he's stronger than many thought initally (that and he's grown...i'll get to that later). Also, Niall. He really isn't just there for hair-color diversity is he? I'd thought all along that Louis was the one doing the high harmony, but turns out its Niall! On the cd you can barely hear that its 3 part harmony, but its so great and really fills out the chorus (more on my love for Niall later). Even with this acoustic version, this song remains a volume up, windows down, shout it out loud from your car to the other cars on the road.
favorite line: "to prove i'm right i put it in a so-o-ong" Just because its so dumb, but true. He did put it in a song to prove he was right haha. Oh Zayn. oh and "the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed".
standout 1Der: Harry for his middle eight and solo bridge
2. Gotta Be You - Its funny. First time I heard this song, I laughed at the first half of the first verse because of the stupid lyrics. Then I cried for the rest of the song because I loved it (but the crying was also due to the fact that I was stressed out in the library writing a paper about to watch the sun come up...good times in Club Clemons). Its a good song on its own, and Liam, Harry, and Zayn are definitely the stand outs. But in the context of the album, its probably the weakest ballad, given the virtual non-chorus consisting only of "It's Gotta be You" and no real progression past that. A weird choice for a second single. But I genuinely enjoy the song for the most part 2nd verse on. the harmonies there are awesome. Louis doesn't do much here...but his time will come haha. Oh and the video is hilarious, featuring awful scarves, shirts with only the top button buttoned (WHAT. WHY IS THAT A THING. STOP IT), and fake fireworks. and Niall just playing the guitar randomly.
favorite line: "Oh girl, can we try one, more, one more time" Zayn does it again. His voice is so smooth.
standout 1Der: Zayn. Liam's a close second though because he owns most of the track.
3. One Thing - I knew I would love this song as soon as I heard it. and I do. I love formulaic pop, duh, and this song is basicaly a copy of WMYB, down to the quiet part for the bridge (only Liam does it this time). I was a bit annoyed when I heard this was the next single, just because it is so similar to the first one, but I'm not against it anymore. Its just that perfect pump up song you know. And plus, this is the first song where everyone gets to sing!! huzzah! Here's their sweet acoustic version to prove it:
Ugh, I LOVE IT. I like it because it shows how different everyone's voice is, but how well they all suit the genre and the style. Niall again surprises me (mostly because I didn't realize it was him at first). His tone is actually so distinct that now (save the autotune) I can generally tell when he is singing. He reminds me of someone but I can't pin it down. Mark my words, Niall will be the Nicola Roberts (of Girls Aloud fame for all those unenlightened) of this group. Overlooked for a lot of the beginning times, then break out, get hotter and more confident, and make critically acclaimed music that wont necessarily be a commercial success, but will appease his gaggle of loyal fans. and this is the first time you really hear Louis sing clearly. He's got that Jonas Brother whine to his voice. He's not as strong as the others, but that's what happens when they pass you off as the guy who is there to look good and be ridiculous in interviews. But I dont know, his solo bit suits him, especially when he goes down to the lower end of his range.
favorite line: "shot me out of the sky, you're my kryponite" Mostly because I used to listen to this and the superman theme song to get me out of bed in the latter half of the semester. but also because Harry is being pushed to smooth out his low register, before going up and ending the phrase in his comfort zone.
standout 1Der: Liam. Because he is always solid, so sometimes doesn't get the credit he deserves, and he shines on this. Also, he sings the lower harmony on the choruses which is always what I revert to, and kills the harmonies on the second verse, proving he can sing high and low.
4. More Than This - Ugh this song gets me everytime. Its the second song where everyone has their own distinct part and its a near perfect mid-tempo ballad. WHY WASN'T THIS THE SECOND SINGLE?? I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND. I mean, granted the autotume is a bit much at times, but it's another showcase of all of their vocal strengths. I thought it was Zayn at the beginning, but its apparently Liam. His falsetto is ethereal. Then it goes into Harry's chorus, and the his rocky/gravely tone of his voice is beyond made for this chorus. SO MANY EMOTIONS. Though it begs the question, why can you see him laying her down? Are you creepin through the bushes or something? Not that I'm one to judge the stalkerish tendancies of songs...and then BOOM, NIALL!Even with the sensory confusion ("If I'm louder, would you see me?" what? no.), he just owns it. he's perfect. and then Louis rounds it out with his JB whine (seriously, he could have sang Burning Up) on the most overly dramatic part of the song ("My body fails, I'm on my knees, PRAYIN"). and then Zayn's bridge. ZAYN'S BRIDGE. I just, like, wanna be held. This is what I was talking about. Like, I dont believe them at all, but, I totally do haha.
favorite line: "I've never had the words to say, but now I'm asking you to stay, for a little while inside my arms".
standout 1Der: BOOM, NIALL!
5. Up All Night - "UP ALL NIGHT LIKE THIS ALL NIGHT!! Okay, so when I first heard it, I hated it. I thought, ugh this stupid generic song. But like, three spins later, I'm was (and still am) all about it. The youthfulness of it gets me (and the slightly sexual undercurrent that I can't help but hear). "Katy Perry's on replay, she's on replay" is my new "And the Britney song was on, an d the Britney song was on". and the stomping and clapping bit is a cool change up from the electro poppiness of the song. I dont know why, but its just so fun. Another for the roll your windows down and shout it out (preferably at night).
favorite line: "Katy Perry's on reply, she's on replay" Just because.
standout 1Der: Zayn, for his second verse and his adlibbing and unnecessary but completely necessary runs at the end
6. I Wish - hated this one at first too. At first listen, just the chorus is nothing special. Its one of those songs where I imagined the song writers were like "lets just put some words that kind of rhyme together and call it a day" and I hate that. but the bridge redeems the whole song. The melody in the bits right before the chorus are finally center stage. The harmonies are on point, and you finally feel the teen emotion that you've been longing for (...maybe thats just me). Though all the talk of breaking is a little bit foolish here. I initally thought it was a weaker track, but its grown on me in the same way Gotta be you grew on me.
favorite line: "I wish it was me with my hands on your waist while we dance in the moonlight" WHY ISN'T THIS MY LIFE. FOREVER ALONE.
standout 1Der: no one really stands out all that much. If i'm picking I'd say Harry.
7. Tell Me A Lie - One Direction, One Direction Fans, and the Boy Band Gods need to thank Kween Kelly Clarkson for writing this song and giving it to these boys, because Hallelujah this song is pop heaven. If I had life my way, this would have been their next single after "More than this". Its just perfect. As soon as I heard it I knew that Kelly had written it (she's so distinctive in her writing style/sound). And Zayn SLAYS ON THIS TRACK. Holy Cow, he's just snatching wigs all over the place. His voice is so PERFECT for this chorus I can't even finish this sentence. His voice is ridic on this. and proves that his range is better than mine (which is gross) because I struggle to sing along with him him in my chest voice. If they dont sing this one when I see them on tour, I will kill a cat.
favorite line: "tell me i'm a screwed up mess, that I never listen, listen"...and the whole chorus.
standout 1Der : ZAYN. end of.
8. Taken - Liam's opening on this song. Amazeballs. Seriously. His voice sounds SO GOOD when its so low. It sounds so mature. This song in general is a pretty mature effort from the boys. Its sounds like a song that Boyzone or Take That would have done back in the day. and Harry on the chorus, so gooood. Its simple, but it works. My only fault here again is with a bit of the song writing. Zayn's bridge sounds great vocally, but you can literally hear the breakdown of thought that went into it. "Thank you for showing me, who you are underneath". Okay. "Thank you, I dont need another heartless misery". Still good. "You think i'm doing this to make you jealous, and I know that you hate to hear this, but this is not about you anymore"....huh? WHAT? just...why. its like they literally couldn't think of anything that even sort of rhymed or made sense, so they put that shit in there. but thankfully you dont really dwell on it too much haha.
favorite line: "It's like I'm finally awake, and you're just a beautiful mistake" UGH SO HURTFUL, BUT SO GREAT.
standout 1Der: Liam. Followed very closely by Harry
9. I Want - When did One Direction turn into Mcfly? When Tom Fletcher wrote this song I guess...and I dont hate it AT ALL. Tom's distinctive (now vintage since their own style has changed so much now) Mcfly style/sound is evident from the beginning, with the heavy piano and live instrumentation. Its what I always loved about Mcfly (still love them) and it works surprisingly well for 1D here. Its so bitter and brilliant. Its weird because its one of the only songs where Liam doesn't start the song, and I dont know how I feel about that haha. Harry sounds good, actually, but I just prefer Liam's verse and voice on this kind of song. He's totally the Tom of the group. And then Zayn's bridge is perfect as well. He's like the bridge-meister. and his unneccesary but complete neccessary runs to end the song are tasty. Ugh, this song should be longer, so I can enjoy it even more.
favorite line: "dont you know that I can't stand when girls say"
standout 1Der: Liam. Doing work on the second verse. and also the quiet solo bit before the last chorus. Zayn's a close second though he almost steals it with the bridge
10. Everything about you- Okay, this is a weird one for me. When I heard only the chorus in the previews I was like, vom. so generic and repetitive. But then when I did my first album listen though, I wasn't paying attention to the track numbers or names and the beginning of this caught my attention so quick I did a double take. I just love the build up of this song. Not gonna lie, i'm still a little let down by the chorus, but overall the verses more than make up for it. and I love again that every member gets their own little solo. The second verse is great because of the harmonies at the end of the phrases. And the lyrics are cheesy and cute. all things I like...but like seriously, i love this song.
favoirte line: tie between "other guys see it but dont realize that its ma-ma loving" the low harmony is fantastic and the syncopated rhythm of "I still feel it every time". Harry, SO GOOD.
standout 1Der: None really, but not for a bad reason. They are just all equally good and fun. I guess I love Harry's part so I'll say him.
11. Same Mistakes - this is another ballad where 1D sounds too wise for their years. But its. so. freakin. good. They all have writing credits for this song...I WANNA SEE THE RECEIPTS. PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN. I just dont believe it, but I love it. Just so many emotions. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't listen to this during my all nighter during finals and didn't cry during Liam's bit in the second. so what? come at me, bro. I had a lot of feelings that night. and then Zayn's warbling over the last chorus. je meure, je meure (translation: I DIE, I DIE). This, Taken, and More than this, are the kind of songs that you blast in your car with the windows rolled all the way up and cry, kind of like "I wanna know what love is" by Foreigner. So its obviously a good thing.
favorite line: "Wake up, we both need to wake up, Maybe if we face up to this, we can make it through this". There's, like, hope, and despair all tangled up. HE'S TRYNA FIND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE. UGH, SING IT LIAM.
standout 1Der: Liam/Zayn. Zayn brings the emotion to the last third of the song ("WHEN NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGE". ugh, i'm crying). and Liam slays the second third into the quiet bridgy thing.
12. Save You Tonight - Oh Louis :) I just want to hate this because its generic RedOne club shit (which is generally my jam anyways), and the lyrics are so cheesy, cheesier than any other animal bi-product...but its Louis. He finally gets his moment shine, like the whole damn song. Its just so precious, because Louis is so precious and the most harmless member of this group after Niall. And also the lower harmony on "but for you I'll be superhumn" is pretty great. I can't hate it. I only love it more every day.
favorite line: haha I hate all the lyrics. jk. I like "you should open your eyes but they stay closed"
standout 1Der: King Louis. Awww.
13. Stole My Heart - THIS. IS. MY. JAAAAAM. Stole the tune from Dynamite, but I dont even curr, this is probably the song I play the most. Goodness, Liam's voice is actually seductive during the verses its amazing. Its such a perfect ending to an album I can't even handle it. Harry's chorus is so fun, and i love the "eh eh eh" (probs Zayn) throughout the background. The only questionable part is in the bridge when Zayn sings "As we lay on the ground I put my arms around you"...how exactly did we get from the dancefloor, to the ground. like actually on the ground. And i'm almost positive that it should be "as we lie on the ground" but whatever. I'll let it go for the epic dance party that is this song. Gah just love.
favorite line: "Cause your friends, they look good but you look better". This is probably my favorite line in the whole album. Just so direct, but so nonchalant.
standout 1Der: Liam. Killing everyone within a one mile radius. SO GOOD.
So basically, its a complete album with very little fillers. Grade: A-
Can't wait to push 10 year olds outta my way so I can get to the front at their concert!!! Yay March 2nd!!
*Having some of the best pop producers/song-writers known doesn't hurt though
Sorry if we're friends and you have this haircut...I guess now you know how i really feel. Like...doesn't half of your head get really cold? what is the point? You can't wear a headband, you basically always have to wear it down to understand it. It looks good on...no one.
2. Nose-pickers at Clemons.
Okay so I understand that sometimes your nose wants to dance because its got a little boogie in it. that's fine, happens to the best of us. But what makes you think its alright to start digging for gold when you have someone sitting directly in front of you?? You may think I'm just studying my life away, but its pretty damn hard to concentrate on the message of the gender roles in Much Ado about Nothing when you're feeling free as a bird and have all five fingers up your nostrils. and also it makes my life really uncomfortable. Like...What do I do? Do I stare at you with a disgusted look on my face? Because that makes me look kind of weird, being that i'm staring at you instead of doing my work. But realistically, my peripheral vision is so on point that even if my head is buried in my books, i'll still be able to see you from the corner of my eye. Litterally the worst kind of catch-22 (to study, or to watch someone pick their nose). Either way, this is not your home. This is Clemons library, i'm trying to do SERIOUS WORK. STOP KILLING MY STUDY GRIND...just kidding, who goes to Clem to get work done hahahaha...but actually though stop picking your nose. its gross.
3. Toby from Degrassi
...Ugh was't he just the worst?? There was literally nothing appealing about this kid.
EDIT: Just kidding. This kid was worse.
Rick the psyco. HE SHOT JIMMY (aka Aubrey "Drake" Graham)
4. Vegetables
...probably should get over this one.
5. Rain
I know that we need it for the environment and for things to grow and such. But rain is seriously the most despicable form of precipation out there (if you were wondering, "mist" is second...you just can't dress for mist). It used to be because I had permed hair and rain/water/moisture always just made a mess of it. But now that i'm a natural girl (Thank you, Chris Rock), I realize its a more deep-seated issue. Rain depresses me like no other. If I wake up on a rainy morning, chances are I'll be inexplicable upset for the whole day. It usually starts with me not actually waking up and oversleeping because everything is gray and dark, so I just stay in bed and fall asleep again. It also gives rise to two other things I hate: waterlogged shoes and wet pant leg bottoms.
6. Baby-hands on regular sized people
Okay, hate is a strong word in this case. They just make me uncomfortable. But if we're friends and you have them, I've already explained it to you so we're cool. I can see past it. It isn't like a make or break thing ("Okay, so just show me your hands, and then I can verify that we are friends and not just frequent aquaintances").
8. Vomit
I. Cannot. Deal.
9. English Discussions
So many english majors, so many feelings...and a whole lot of bs-ing. As someone who can barely read/write/formulate original thoughts, I'm clearly not made for this kind of environment. I'm just not hipster enough for it *kanyeshrug*
(I'm picking up blogging again while i sort out my life. So the travel blog is out becauuse i aint going no where, and a semi-regular blog on life and happenings during 4th year is in...huzzah!)
but seriously though, modern day boy bands are one of the greatest pop innovation (I'd even venture to say that they are one of my favorite innovations period...each your heart out, Eli Whitney) ever.
There's obviously a hierarchy of modern day boy bands that everyone should know. Boys II Men is holy grail. Backstreet is second (i'm pretty sure they were literally fashioned to be the white Boys II Men...i dont hate it), followed by all other wannabe groups (NSYNC* and O-town and LFO to some extent are probably somewhere close behind backstreet though, closer than the rest...oh and Westlife and Il Divo, but they're more like man-bands anyway). Sadly however, the golden era of American boy bands ended somewhere around 2002/2003, around the time you realized that Justin Timberlake was actually never going to go back to NSYNC and had used most of the Celebrity album to launch his solo career...need proof?
Just watch this video. JT basically just sings the entire song...like actually...THE ENTIRE SONG. Like obviously I love JT (Futuresex/Lovesounds is still gold), but little 12 year old me felt like I was being cheated on in front of my face. I came for the 5 piece band, and he was basically just showing off his new girlfriend ( and by new girlfriend I mean himself) rather shamelessly....BAHAHAHA just kidding, I didn't come for the 5 piece...heck, I only knew like three of their names: Justin, and JC, who i though was the real voice of the group and would have been the most successful since his head didn't look like a brillopad or broccoli** (also...why??), but then he came out with this piece of horse pizzle.
....like, actually the worst. Oh and Lance, I knew him because of that movie he made, On the line, where he met a girl on the bus or subway or something, and then tried to find her...he's definitely come (out) a long way since then...
But anyway, this isn't about them. While Americans have long given up on the boy band (JoBros dont count because...well, they're the Jonas Bros...and got wiped out immediately by Justin Bieber), the Brits are just keeping it coming, and I love them for it. In the last two years, we've gotten bands like JLS, the Wanted, and my new favorites, One direction (which this post is actually about). Though JLS is more tinged with an R&B feel (mainly because they're all black), and fights the Wanted (more standard pop, but in a way that they seem to believe they are serious musicians, which is just too funny) for the 18-24 age group of thirsty females, One Direction's appeal is their bubblegum-poppiness that appeals to the Beliebers (around 12-18 year old biddies) ...and me. I mean, they are just the muffiny-est group of toddler-looking 17-19 year olds (that i'm mildly attracted to), and I have no shame in saying that I love their stuff. Pop in its purest (and best) form for whatever reason resides in Scandanavia, with the Swedes having a pretty awesome monopoly on some of the best pop i've ever heard, so its no surprise that I love One Direction so much, seeing as most of their songs are written by Max Martin and Rami Yacoub (just look up their discography and see the wealth of amazing songs they have written...like, can you imagine being in that room when it was done? literally my dream job). I'm pretty sure I am the reason why 1D could be huge in the US. Mainly because I've stuffed "What makes you Beautiful" down the ears of every single person i've met within the last three months. Just in case you've missed it, here you go:
Just...ugh, love it. This video and song just embodies so much about what i like about pop:
1) the 5 member band. Obviously only three of them are super important. Liam is the foundation. Consistently solid vocals, always starts songs and has really good pitch, decently attractive now that he doesn't flat iron his hair anymore. Harry is like the face of the group (you always need a face of the group). Always gets a lot of solos in songs because his voice has texture (but sometimes he tends to sound like a chainsmoker) and he's the cutest, so you forgive his vocal struggles sometimes. Zayn is the ethnic one (you ALWAYS need an ethnic one), who is also extremely strong vocally (has the most interesting voice, can warble and do runs like nobody's business...plus he's the most attractive). Then there's the other two. Louis is like...reeeeally pretty. and I guess you need someone on the high harmonies. and Niall is just there for hair diversity...oh and he's Irish. but i always root for the underdogs so I like them too. They're a five member band where the last two members dont take away from the group or make you think less of the whole. Solid. But it definitely explains why there are only 3 girls for the 5 of them in this video...
2) Song that pander to the slightly insecure female fangroup. "You dont know you're beautiful...that's what makes you beautiful". Lyrical genius that is (not really). But its so catchy you just want to believe it, you know. For serious, I could probably go lift a car thanks to the uplifting message of the song based solely on my outward physical appearance (actually not serious at all). Its like that backstreet boys song with a very similar name ("what makes you different, makes you beautiful") but with less weepy ballad-y sound and more driving uptempo sugary goodness. They could have used some uglier girls in the video though. All three of them (ahem, once more, three...not five) were clearly aware of their gorgeousness, obviously displayed by their gratuitous hair flipping.
3) pretty mediocre but catchy lyrics (I smile at the ground all the time, what are you talking about), a fantastic middle eight (harry's bits), and an explosive chorus which have pretty great harmonies when its done live = all it takes to make me smile...and probably cry of happiness.
I wish I could explain it better. But boy bands and pop music in general take me back to a time in my life that wasn't bogged down by stress, schoolwork, future plans, and general adult problems. The peak of this carefree living for me was circa 1997 when all that would bother me was which backstreet boy would marry which spice girl in the game I made up called backstreet boys and spice girls (for the record, it was always nick and baby, ginger and bryan, scary and aj, howie and sporty, and posh and kevin...duh). Life's gotten harder since, but its nice to chill out or dance like a fool (or like Robyn) at a club or in your room by yourself to some great pop, especially when life's bringing you down a bit. its almost therapeutic.
...as long as its not absolute shite like that one JLS song, "The club is alive".
Anyway, the point of this post was supposed to be a review of their album preview haha. So here goes. based on thirty second clips of all the songs that aren't their two singles (no i cant wait for the stupid album to come out). Here's the least informative (and probably only) album preview review you'll ever read.
1. One thing - sounds almost exactly like what makes you beautiful, so natch, i love it. so much SUGAR, SO SWEET AND POPPY. this, WMYB, and Nanana are the trifecta
2. Save you Tonight - sounds like a typical RedOne song. meh. "I can't be no superman, but for you i'll be superhuman"...what? no. so basically you wont be an alien who is allergic to green rocks, but you kind of will... okay, bro
3. Stole my heart - Louis/Niall sings??? (can't actually tell who it is, but I dont think it is the triumpherate of greatness). but I'm digging it...like, dancing on elevated surfaces material. oh wait. second listen, i know why i like it. sounds a bit like Dynamite (taio cruz)...still not a bad thing
4. More than this - BALLAD. i'm going to cry. sweet 6 pound 7 ounce baby Jesus, Harry's voice is PERFECT for this...yup, just cried a little bit.
5. Up all night- "i wanna stay up all night and do it all with you?" hmmm...sounds sexual. ew. you're like 12.
6. I wish- this one's stupid. this is the song that the eurolurker (see a previous post on that) is singing to himself in the corner of the club while watching you dance across the room. not cute
7. Tell me a Lie- Zayn on lead + Kelly Clarkson (obviously so) written song??? YES...except for that "hold it against me" grating bass or whatever it is.
8. Taken- sounds like a boyzone or bbmak song. so again, love it.
9. I want - Tom Fletcher from Mcfly DEFINITELY wrote this. it has Mcfly written all over it, probably why i love it. Like, i can hear Tom and Danny trading off at the chorus. Sounds like a mix of Transylvania and Corrupted. both great songs.
10. Everything about you - this one's stupid too.
11. Same mistakes - STOP REPEATING WORDS. ITS STUPID.
Haha I am not anticipating a career reviewing albums. I clearly dont have a way with words. but its obvious that no matter how good or bad most of these songs are, pre-teen biddies will be losing their skirts and their parent's money tryna buy this album.
oh well. Dont really know how to end this. Too many thoughts.
Cheers,
Beanie
*Haters who put NSYNC over Backstreet, I will fight you.
** I'm just still bitter that he's not making music anymore, sorry. I just want another "Summer love", dammit. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK??? none of that "Carry out" crap, please.
