So I woke up to Tony and Simon leaving at 6am to catch a train to Pamplona to run with some bulls (No one could pay me enough to do something like that), and then went back to bed. Cesar then woke me up about 4 hours later and informed me that the free breakfast being served ended in approximately 10 minutes, so I sprang out of bed and we booked it to the dining area of the hostel. There I met my German friend, who used his map to direct me to the Eiffel Tower. After breakfast, I checked out of the hostel, took my bags to the front for storage until later, grabbed my ukulele, and headed towards Champs de Mars by foot. It probably took me about an hour to get there but it was a nice walk. Rain kept threatening, but I'm pretty sure I willed it away. I dont want to type that much, so here's some pictures.
first peek at the tour Eiffel!
looking unimpressed
looking thoroughly impressed
the big and lil tour Eiffel!
the first of many jambon fromage galettes bigger than my head
just a girl and her galette hanging out at the eiffel tower.
So this last picture has a bit of a story. There's always people selling things around this area because there are loads of tourists. I was just minding my own business, playing my ukulele, and for the most part they left me alone. Then two of the venders approached me.
"Vous etes senegalese?"
"non"
"Congolese?"
"non"
"Ivoirienne?"
"non je suis Ghanéenne"
Me telling people that I am Ghanaian in French I guess throws them off because Ghana obviously wasn't a French colony haha. But they then asked me to sing and play for them so I did. One of the vendors said 'Vous chantez tres bien' (you sing very well) and then gifted me two Eiffel tower keychains. The other man proposed that I ditch the imaginery boyfriend I made up in America so that he could show me around Paris and take me dancing. I respectfully declined haha.
Around 3pm, after finishing my time on Champs de Mars by playing some original songs for some Aussies on holiday, I started heading back, so that I could make it for check in at the Cité Universitaire where I would be staying for the month during the program. Its basically student housing for international students, but I feel like there are some local ones as well. Either way, students live in a bunch of different houses with people at different universities all over Paris. Its a really cool idea I think! After checking in and dropping my bags in my room, I briefly met up with my friend Lin from high school who studies here before heading to Nancy's apartment for our welcome event. With my phone dying and my minor brain fart of how to use the metro/tram/RER system, I got there an hour and a half late. But I got there and hadn't actually missed that much, because a lot of people were running late. There I met Nancy, Laurence (our teacher for the medical french courses and the person who had done my interview), the MICEFA intern Babacar, and the 7 other students that would be doing the program with me. We were also joined by two french general practitioners who gave us an overview of the french health care system and the type of things that we will see during our small internships. Its a completely different beast out here, but its pretty well known that France is considered to have one of the best healthcare systems. I'm super eager to dive into it. After the more formal interactions, we broke for a bit of wine and finger food, because why the hell not, this is France haha. Everyone seems really nice and super intelligent, and I was very impressed by everyone's level of French. Not that I'm super great or anything (on the contrary, I haven't had it as a constant presence in my life like I had during college), but I dont think anyone else was a French major like I was. Interestingly enough, a lot of us have ties of some sort to either Haiti or West Africa, which is pretty legit. Afterwards, Christel, my roommate, and I headed back to the CitéU to grab a bite to eat and watch the US vs Belgium match. We were dead tired halfway through and ended up leaving and finishing watching the game in our room. Of course we didn't go to bed until past 2 though, for no good reason at all haha. But it was a solid day, and we set alarms to get ready for our first class the next morning at 10.
So really, the adventure began on Sunday evening. Frank, best older brother and gracious host for the week in Ghana, saw me right up to immigration and then we parted ways. I sat and watched some of the Greece vs Costa Rica game with Johnny, one of Frank's friends who was traveling back to England for a holiday/to meet with his PhD director or something of similar importance. When we had finally boarded and settled in, we hear a voice from the ominous sky tell us that there was a bag on the plane that shouldn't have been there (...how tho) so they had to remove all of the bags from the plane. pas bon fromage. We ended up leaving an hour late, which was super convenient for my hour long layover. Stupid. I decided I was going to deal with it later and just enjoy the movies on the plane. First I watched 'That Awkward Moment' which is probably the stupidest title for a movie ever, but despite not being revolutionary in any way, I very much enjoyed it. Michael B. Jordan is easily my one true love, and the interplay between him, Zac Efron and Miles Teller was great. I then watched a strange Irish movie with Andrew Scott, known for playing Moriarty in the Sherlock series. It was also a bit formulaic and wonky, but had some super quirky and bright spots that made it a fun watch.
British Airways did the damn thing and sorted me out on the next flight out to Paris, which was wonderful. Blah blah blah, got to Paris, and that's where all of the swamp-back (copious amounts of sweat) decided to reintroduce itself into my life. I dragged my super heavy suitcase halfway across the airport, searching furiously for a Relay (Its a little store) so that I could buy a new SIM card. After that small success, I decided that there was no way I was taking the train anywhere with my suitcases, and found a nice man to taxi me to my hostel for the night. We carried the whole conversation out in French, and talked about soccer, medicine, and life in general. According to him, my life essentially is going to end at 25 if I haven't snatched up a nice boy who doesn't care that I'm a doctor, so that was super encouraging. I got to the hostel and settled in a bit. I met Cesar, one of the people sharing my room. Cesar was sweet Colombian man who was in Europe for the first time, embarking on an epic Eurotrip. He left two little Colombian chocolates on everyone's bed and said in the most adorable broken english (side note, he spoke no french nor english haha. But I used my working knowledge of Shakira and Juanes songs to figure out the things that he just couldn't translate) that they were a way of welcoming us to France. Had I known we were doing this type of stuff, I would have saved the scraps from my pre-departure Chipotle and given it to him haha, but what can ya do.
First pic in Paris!
went on a walk
A nearby park overlooking the street
3/4 of the roommates for the night!
a view from my window of the 15th arr
another view from my window
I hadn't even done anything particularly french, but it all still felt a bit surreal. I went to grab a bit of food before the France game that night, and returned about halfway through it, stopping at cafes and staring in at the screens that were broadcasting it like a mad woman. Thankfully I wasn't the only one though haha.
I ended up watching that game and the Germany-Algerie game with my new friends, whose names I now realize I dont know at all (and never will lol). But there was a very nice German, a Brazilian, and an American from Atlanta. The German found two other Germans at the hostel and they obnoxiously (in the best way) cheered their team on to victory. The game probably ended around 12:30am, but there is a weird thing in France where the sun doesn't even set until like, 10pm. So my sleep and eating schedule even for just that day was already all out of sorts. I was tired from the stress of watching Algeria almost win and then sadly not (ya gotta admit, they would have totally deserved it), but not tired enough to go to bed just yet. I got a bottle of water from the front desk, and ended up meeting the two remaining roommates, Tony and Simon from Sweden (I had originally guessed Norway). We chatted for a while and then I went upstairs. I started my usually nightly routine of searching for any and all celebrity gossip, when Simon walked in. We talked for a bit, and I proceeded to grill him about all things Swedish and Scandinavian. Sadly, he wasn't a bit fan of any of the Swedish music that I liked (no Erik Hassle, and more importantly, no Robyn - like...how?), and apparently Swedes not enjoy going to dance clubs that only play ABBA as much as I hoped they did. I dont think it took him very long to figure out my incredibly cheesy taste in music and extreme (non, vraiment extreme) passion for power pop music haha. But he did end up introducing me to some sweet folk-bluesy type Swedish music by a guy named Daniel Norgren.
How cool is that?? I never expected this kind of sound, but it was a pleasant surprise! He also educated me on funny and a little bit weird Norwegian Kollektivet. I guess they do similar videos to the people that did 'What does the fox say.' Here is an example where they brag about the size of their larger alphabet.
And another where they lament the struggle of being a guy and always having to be the big spoon (I categorically disagree with the idea that little spoon is better, but that's a debate for another day).
Basically, this had me thinking that my next European adventure should be based in Scandinavia, because the music is surprisingly soulful, and the people are maybe as weird as I am. Parf.
But for now, Paris is my work station and most likely my playground as well!
In a couple of days, I will be starting the traveling bit of what I've been calling the "Last Summer of my Life." Given the academic and career path that I chose (side note - hoo let me finish/pass first year??), I'm not going to be able to enjoy a nice three month break in the heat of summer sunshine (which to this date have mostly been spent forcing my family to eat my cooking and watching hours of West Wing, Bob's Burgers, and any and all Gordon Ramsey programming on the telly) anymore. So I strategically planned (waited until the last minute, panicked, cried a little, and then watched as six pound seven ounce baby Jesus threw something together for me) my M1 summer around my interests. Though it is technically a free summer, I feel like most medical students are expected to do some sort of resume building activity. I didn't really love the idea of doing research, so I did what any other person would do: started a 'Donate money to send Abena to the World Cup in Brazil' campaign and waited for the cash to just flow in.
give me the money. give it to meeeeeee
Sadly, everyone hates me and no one wired me any money, so I took to Google to look for the summer of my dreams. I'm super passionate about traveling and basically seeing the world from the other side of the opportunity filled shores of the land of liberty and bravery, and wanted a summer experience that would let me combine my interests and get a more global view of medicine. So the words "medical," "summer exchange," and "abroad" made their way into my search bar, and I spend a couple of days/weeks sifting through pages and pages of programs and opportunities that I wasn't qualified for. Eventually, I found a program that incorporated all of my interests pretty perfectly. It had french, medicine, public health (which is something I hope to delve into more in the future), and the potential for me to eat my weight in pastries and crepes AND stalk my favorite singers from the Voice France. To cut a long and somewhat stupid story about googling short, after a weekish-long trip to Ghana (during which, assuming the lights don't go off, I can write about as well) I will be heading to Paris for 4 weeks for a program in Comparative Practices in Public Health and Medicine!
this is how I will be dressed when I step off at CDG. Madeleine ain't ready
I am super excited about the chance to see medicine and the health care system in action in Paris, both in the classroom and later during my stay in the hospital, and hopefully can be a good representative of and for my school (Gooo EVMS Mermaids!!). But I am also excited for the other stuff too. Like how I'm going to seduce all da garcons with my sensual mastery of 'l'art de la drague' like my childhood hero Dexter:
I think I'm mostly looking forward to incorrectly incorporating the words 'zut' and 'biche' back into my vocabulary.
Real talk though: I feel so fortunate to be able to continue my weird mostly-love-affair with France and venture to its macaroon filled hills for the third time. My last trip to France in 2011 took me to the wonderful city of Lyon, where I learned about French culture, read some middle-French poetry, fell in love with the old and the new parts of the city, played ukulele by the Rhone and the Soane...
Lyon (and Johnny Walsh's irish pub) inspired one of my own favorite songs I've ever written
Croix Rousse tu me manques!
... ate lots of quiche lorraine, and made some of the loveliest friends that basically helped make fourth year the best. Nothing can probably beat that place and time and those people and what that summer was, but it gives me good vibes going forward for this one. My last trip to Paris was when I was a weird(er) 16 year old, and I haven't really been back since (barring the one night after the Lyon trip when I stayed at a family friends' house in a town outside Paris, ventured into the city with their son who was my age, and promptly fell asleep for most of the movie 'Limitless' because I'd been packing the whole night before). I have pretty great memories from that trip in 2007 as well, capped off by a wonderful last night in our host mother's apartment eating pasta and reading the last Harry Potter book with my roommate into the wee hours of the night and morning. Though its never completely smooth sailing, I always seem to have a good time in France, and I hope that the streak continues in the capital. I'm just super excited to explore the city a bit more than I did the last time I was here, and just 'profiter un peu de Paris.'
Though my bank account hates me right now, I hope my reward is a wealth (get it?) of knowledge, experience and cultural competency.
...And some busking money because they raised tuition by 2%.
will sing for euros
Like last time (three years ago lolz), I can't promise that I'll actually update very regularly, but I'm banking on mildly-interesting things happening on the reg so that I can embellish them profusely for your (whoever you are...mom) entertainment.
Paris n'est pas prêt pour this jelly, je pense.
A plus!
Abena
p.s. I will be continuing to react to the World Cup in the only way I know how over here.
So during this "gap year" of mine, my main purpose in life has been to torment my freshly minted teenage sister (her 13th birthday was on the 16th) with my existence and general weirdness. However, I do like to subject her to some good things as well. Mainly, the music of the late '90s and early '00s that I hold near and dear to my heart. Though I obviously enjoy a lot of pop music today, there is just something about the music of my late elementary through middle school (and maybe early high school) years that spoke to me and many of my friends at that age. Naturally, we couldn't actually relate to it when I really thought about it (unless we were really thrown about our chick on the side telling us she had one on the way. At 14. Try explaining that one to mom and dad), and a lot of it doesn't really age well, but for what it was and for who (whom? help!) I was at the time, it was mostly perfect. So I wanted to see how it all stood up to today's tween generation's standards, represented somewhat begrudgingly by my sister, Amy (who is actually much cooler and smarter than I ever was at that age). I basically forced her to listen to and watch a bunch of videos (while I watched them like my 8-13 year old self would have) and watched the generational gap reveal itself. So here we go! Below is a muddled transcript of our evening plus some more commentary on each song and video.
Me and Amy being casual.
Amy vs. My Childhood
Ghetto Supastar (its really painful for me to spell it like that)
Abena: Okay, so the first video we are going to watch is Ghetto Superstar by Pras, Mya and ODB. Do you know who ODB was? Amy: No... Abena: Do you know what ODB stands for? Amy: No... Abena: Good. Amy: (not really listening)... Abena: You don't like this??? Amy: Why is this song in a movie about Presidents? Abena: Why is Rick Ross's music in Django Unchained???
Revisiting this song with my 22 year old mind: I distinctly remember this as THE jam in the second grade.
how I dance when it comes on.
The best part of watching this now is seeing David Rosen of ABC's 'Scandal' fame in the background. Oh and Mya's perfection. According to Amy's reaction, this song might not translate very well today's musical standards. I maintain that today's musical standards aren't all that high, so I reject her reaction. But to be fair, 90s rappers are of a different breed than today's rappers that tweens are exposed to. It's just a different sound that people Amy's age are growing up today with the Drakes, the J Coles, and the Big Seans. But for the most part, the song is all about Mya and the chorus. I feel like that stands the test of time, and we have Kenny Rogers' original melody for that. Islands in the Jam was a jam (don't lie, you loved it. Kenny and Dolly killed it).
M2M - Mirror mirror
Abena: This song is so epic!! Amy: (shrugs) Abena: Amy, when I was like, 8 or 9, this song was EVERYTHING. Amy: (starts laughing) Abena: WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?? Amy: ...is that really her voice? Abena: YES. It's like Britney. kind of. UGH. So good. (singing along as Amy just stares at me). Ten year old me had so many emotions Amy: Why is she just lying in the grass by herself? Abena: You don't do that?
Revisiting this song with my 22 year old mind: Okay, so Amy's dislike of this song is somewhat understandable. Today's top female singers all have really powerful voices (except for Taylor Swift). I stand by my Britney Spears comparison. And honestly, there's something about somewhat thin vocals that convey emotions strangely well...at least for me. Like, I can't imagine Christina Aguilera singing a song like "Everytime" and making it sound as sad. Maybe its because you focus more on the words and their meanings when the singer isn't all that. But then again, I'm pretty sure I listened to 'Someone Like You' (Adele) at least 80 times in a row when I first heard and and felt the pain of watching my imaginary boyfriend get married EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
never mind i'll find....
Whatever, back to M2M, the Norwegian beauties behind this song (I maintain that Scandanavians are the best producers of pop music). As far as I knew, they only had two songs: this one and "Don't Say You Love Me" from the Pokemon Movie. Listening to "Mirror, Mirror" now though, I'm still all about it (my biases are strong, i'm not sorry about it). 2:24 where the instruments drop out briefly and then come back in is a perfect pop moment. I guess their voices are somewhat annoying though.
Play - Whole Again
Abena: Okay, all you need to know is that the ginger is the best one. Amy: That one girls dress looks like Lady Gaga's meat dress Abena: Do you like this song though? Amy: Yeah Abena: Why do you like it Amy: I dont know Abena: See, Faye is the only one that sings. There was an uneven distribution of solos.
(we get to the spoken middle 8 of the song) Amy: Why is she doing that? Abena: This is an important part of the song. and then Faye kills it. get 'em Faye. Get 'em!! Amy: This is the first song that I've liked so far
Revisiting this song with my 22 year old mind: Clearly we see now that Amy has fabulous pop music taste. This song was pop at at sugary-sweetest. This song was actually originally by Atomic Kitten, but redone by these four ladies (they changed the line "you still turn me on" to "you can do no wrong"). Also of note is that Play is basically Sweden's version of the Sugababes (reference only some will get) and Destiny's Child. Members just coming and going like nothing. But this version of Play is the definite version (most because I've never bothered with the other ones). Faye (the ginger) really was the best one, and I love that they didn't try to hide it. She basically had the Nicole role in the Pussy Cat Dolls. My favorite thing about this video is how dated the "hot guys" look already...until I realize this came out ten years ago. This is my exact reaction to their appearances/faces:
One guy is wearing a pooka shell necklace, one has a gross goatee and spiked hair, and another looks like Kris Humphries (and they didn't even reserve the only good looking guy for Faye like they should have because she is the best). And that poor white girl with the braids (aka meat dress girl).
I dont know who she thinks she is (oh wait, yes I do), but that's just really unfortunate. Fast forward a couple of years and she's the only one whose solo music I actively still listen to (I would have listen to queen Faye's stuff, but I dont know where it is/I think she's rejoined the like 7th line-up of Play or something like that). Seriously, Anais (dark haired one) was always my fave when I was younger, but Faye is flawless.
3LW - No More
Abena: Oh wait. oh my gosh 3LW! do you know them?? Amy: 3LW? Abena: Yes! 3 little women? Amy: Oh, i thought it meant like, length and width. Abena: ...No, sadly that's not what it is. Anyway, you'll recognize maybe two out of three of them Amy: (starts laughing) Cheetah girls! They had their own group without Raven or Sabrina? Abena: Yeah! 3LW. And then they didn't let that one girl in the cheetah girls
(song starts. 10 seconds in) Amy: ...What is she saying? Abena: You can't understand her? Amy: No, it sounds like gibberish. What is she saying? Can you put closed captions on?
(Adrienne Bailon starts singing) Abena: You understand her right? Amy: Yeah. not the other one. Aqua, right? Abena: Thats not her real name. Kiely Williams is her name. I dont know what the third one's name is Amy: She's a good singer too. So they didn't let her do anything? Abena: Nope, do you like the skirt over her jeans? Amy: Was that a trend? Abena: Nope, thats probably why she got kicked out of the group Amy: Abena, be nice.
Revisiting this song with my 22 year old mind: Yeah everything about this song screams year 2000. THE FASHION OH DEAR LORD.
you think it's cute...but it's not.
There's literally not much to say about this, except that Adrienne Bailon is now famous for being Rob Kardashian's ex girlfriend, and Kiely Williams...went on to make really really really REALLY poor choices. The whereabouts of whatsherface are still unknown (I can't be bothered to google her. Also, what is her name still).
BBMak - Back Here
Abena: You know BBMak right? Amy: No Abena: (tears) Amy, dont do this to me. They were on Even Stevens one time. Amy: Wow they're really good Abena: AMY DO YOU THINK I LISTEN TO PEOPLE WHO DONT SING WELL??
Revisiting this song with my 22 year old mind: MARRY ME CHRISTIAN I STILL LOVE YOU.
This has been more music nostalgia, brought to you by the sisters Brown.
I can't just use this blog to review one direction CDs...jk, I totally could. But I won't. But since I am dangerously bored with my life, I've decided to start this up again and do what I love (other than eating, watching NCIS and SVU, and applying to medical school): over-analyzing pop music!!
Do you ever get super defensive over a song when a new song comes out with the same title? Like, without even hearing the actual new song, you decide in your mind that the 'original' song is a masterpiece that will forever be second to none? Maybe I'm alone in this, but irrational mind did this when Justin Bieber's 'As long As You Love Me.' Especially since I am disturbingly territorial about the Backstreet Boys, I don't think I went out of my way to listen to Bieber's song for the longest time, just on principle. But realistically, they were two different songs. And despite sharing 6 words, they don't even sound remotely alike. But there always has to be a winner and a loser in these things ya know. So in my free-time (lunch break), I have decided to figure all that out for all of those people out there that wanted the answers (so, no one). Here's a first batch!
Song Title Wars part 1
Song: As Long As You Love Me
The Incumbent: Backstreet Boys
Key Points: Considering this is one of my top 5 favorite BSB songs, it's just gonna be pretty hard to beat from the get go. It is written by the greatest pop lyrical genius of all time, Max Martin. Yeah upon further inspection as a non-8 year old, the lyrics are a bit suspect. Manti Te'o probably listened to this song every night after getting off the phone with Lennay Kukua. But there's just something quite magical about them at the same time. The song is heavy on 2/3 of the Nick-Brian-AJ vocal trio of greatness, with AJ being the odd-man out this time. Big shout out to Kev and Howie, though. This song wouldn't be nearly as good without all the harmonies, and they lay it on thick like butter on Paula Deen's buiscuits. The bridge into the last chorus and the descant of sorts on top of it is just lovely. Also, Nick's "Yeah-ah-ah" wins. every. time.
Video Bonus: Oh man, so many things. Nick's visual peak/bowl cut, and the fact that this video was filmed during that weirdly short window where his voice matched his face perfectly (He still sounds like he is 17 when he sings even though he's like thirty, but I dont even care). Kevin's eyebrows, THE FANTASTIC CHAIR DANCING, jeans and black (always a good look), and of course, the stunning ethnic diversity of the women in the video. As usual, I pretended I was the black girl.
The Challenger: Justin Bieber
Key Points: So despite my initial resistance when it first came out, I do really like this song. Justin sounds good, and it fit perfectly into the mainstream pop that was big when it came out out, especially with the dub-steppy beat. I've enjoyed Bieber's voice even when he sounded like a little girl all of two years ago, so hearing this was pretty cool. And the falsetto bit where he sings "lo-lo...-love me" is actually a great pop moment, mostly because you're not expecting it. The lyrics aren't on the 'Liquid Dreams' (Shout out to O-town letting me drop my name in that song every once in a while. "I dream about a girl who's a mix of Destiny's Child, just a little pinch of ABENA's wild style, and Janet Jackson's smile...") end of the wackness scale, but they aren't all that great either. But like, Big Sean, what the hell? Every time I hear the rap, this is how I feel:
just...WHY? I'm pretty sure Aaron Carter would have done a better job with those 45 seconds. smh.
Video Bonus: wait, I've never watched this before. What the hell is going on? I'll give a bonus for Justin Bieber's music career, because clearly acting shouldn't be his thing. Also, I'm uncomfortable with justin bieber's fetus looking self getting cozy with a girl. Okay, I do like the dancing. So that's good.
Verdict: Backstreet wins. Though the BSB song sounds ever so slightly dated compared to Justin's attempt to stay with the current pop standards, never underestimate the value of 3-part harmony and chair dancing.
Song: Sober
The Incumbent: Pink
Key Points: Can we just talk for a minute about how great Pink's voice is? Even though she can get kind of annoying when she's in her niche of "tough girl' power pop (a la So What, Raise Your Glass etc.), when she's a bit more stripped down the rocky quality of her voice really shines through and you realize how emotive her voice can be. This song is a classic case of that. And the lyrics are pretty interesting. It might be about love, relationships,or alcohol, or an abstract entity that I haven't even thought of, but it can be taken so many ways, which is kind of cool. Video Bonus: Okay, never seen this one before either. Props for Pink looking pretty...while helping herself throw up? wait, what??? Op, and now we've entered some clean white room and she's got a dramatic haircut. I don't know. Props for looking like Sia before Sia was a thing I guess...Aaaaaand she's making ot with herself. Bonus for just weirding everyone out, but owning it. You do you, Pink. You do you.
The Challenger: Jade Alston
Key Points: This song is so simplistic in its structure, but it still manages to be great. Just when you think Lil Mama's crazy eyes are going to pop out and start singing about Lip Gloss, Jade Alston's vocals come in and its like a refreshing wave. I love this because she clearly knows her voice and just doesn't sound like she's trying to do too much. It makes for a really enjoyable listening experience. And the vocal overlay is great. The background is drum-heavy, but still kind of sparce, and builds to chorus. And I love the lyrics and how relatable they feel. Basically I'm in love with Jade Alston and want to be her. Video Bonus: all the bonus points because this video is the premise of all my elementary school birthday parties, making videos and dances with my friends to Destiny's Child songs. It was clearly made on a budget of the 5 dollars of gas money it took her friends to show up at her house, but its great.
Verdict: By the slimmest of margins, Jade wins. I love Pink and she really does kill it vocally on Sober, but the freshness of Jade's song just hits the spot.
Song: Stutter The Incumbent: Joe
Key Points: OH MY WORD DOES ANYONE REMEMBER THIS JAM? This song was all sorts of perfect in 2000. The intro is amazing. He makes no effort to rhyme except for like twice (you with you, naturally), he's just like, talking haha. But it doesn't even matter. Its was like the younger version of 'Busted' by the Isley Brothers (epic song in the continuum of "I caught you cheating" tracks), the male version of 'Say My Name' and the accidental prelude to 'Cry Me A River' (from the content and the camcorder work in the video) all rolled into one. And he actually stutters when he says stutter. Also, the Mystikal Remix is the only acceptable version of this song. Mostly because he screams "WATCH YOURSELF" (a la 'shake it fast'. haha i always like the censored title better) and name checks Wafflehouse. And he says, "YOU BETTA RESPECT MA FLOW' (Mystikal only speaks in all caps). Mad Respec, Mystikal. There's a video going around where the kid asks a generation "What will be your Space Jam?" But what I really want to know is who will be their Mystikal? Video Bonus: I'm still super confused as to what is even going on in the video, but I guess that's a good thing. Also, Fubu is alive and well.
The Challenger: Maroon 5
Key Points: Haha well this song couldn't be more different. If I get I understand the lyrics correctly, The stuttering here is due to being so in love with someone that it just kind of leaves you speechless? Alrighty then. This song is pretty great either way. You honestly can't go wrong with heavy piano (its in there under all the guitars). And as hot and cold as I am with Adam Levine's aesthetic qualities (he flips between slimy looking and genuinely attractive so easily to me), I'm almost always down with his voice. The melody chorus chorus just makes you wanna two step and smile. Oh and most importantly, he does stutter when he says "stutter," which is again crucial. Video Bonus: no official video, which is quite annoying. But thank the Lord for live videos. You can hear the piano, which to me is the most important. And there's often a third harmony on the "be with you/you and me always" line Verdict: Joe wins. As much as I love it, Maroon 5 never really stood a chance.
There's loads more multiple-offender song titles, so I'm going to have fun with this over the next (however long my attention span will allow it)! Suggestions are always welcome!
That's right. Its November, so I'm due to have a freakout about and preview the 25-30 second One Direction Album clips, making gross over- and underestimations about the future of the band and pop music in general. AAAAAH I'm giddy just thinking about it.
ZUT. muffins
As their self-proclaimed one-woman North American promotion team (I kid, I kid), I take pride in my 1D pimping. Its only because I try this all the time with all the British/African/Australian/Euro-in-general music that I listen to, and One Direction was one of the first times that other people were actually also listening to something that I was listening to without me having to force them into it. Watching every pregame and party turn into a One Direction love-in by the end of the night over the course of last year was like watching a water birth, but in the way where at first you're like "wtf" (because you can't believe its happening) but then decide you're gonna enjoy the moment and start cheering for the baby like you're at game 7 of the NBA finals.
this was supposed to be a picture of a water birth but I almost threw up searching for pictures, so instead we're gonna look at Captain America himself, Carlos Bocanegra (or Charles Blackmouth as he's known in Mexico)
The greatness of Up All Night as a comprehensive pop album still hasn't worn off on me (Its still one of the only two CDs I have in my car, the other being Babel by Mumford and Sons). But as the music industry is now about staying relevant, less than a year later (or maybe exactly a year, I dont know) they are already preparing to drop the second album, Take Me Home. They're clearly following the Rihanna method of 'record an album for every breath you take,' which is fine I guess. But it doesn't really allow for the growth and evolution in their sound that people seem to expect from musicians these days (of course, this might just be me and all the people on all the pop blogs and forums that I read religiously. And before you ask, I do currently have two jobs. What is my life). Which is honestly fine and dandy, because they seem pretty aware of this fact. Live While We're Young was the perfect example of that. I obviously love it, but it was by no means a "game-changer." If anything, they were just slightly more explicit about the sexual nature of their lyrics, but that's about it. It appeals to the masses, is catchy as hell (though perhaps not as catchy as WMYB), and suffered from an untimely leak (no thanks to you, Australian tv station) that saw it going up against Rihanna's Diamonds and Gagnam Style in the charts. But otherwise, they seemed to me to be following the course towards another successful campaign.
Then this little ditty dropped.
Little Things is an ginger prince Ed Sheeran penned stripped back ballad (obviously so). And its fine. It is. I probably cried when I heard it first (in fact, I'm almost positive I did), but thats because I always cry about everything. But its definitely a grower. Zayn and Liam sound like heaven in the first verse (comme d'hab), and the first chorus is perfect because it is Zayn heavy and I would listen to him sing my college/med school rejection letters. Then it gets a bit weird. Louis comes in with the second verse. Louis is not the strongest singer (I'm not that blinded by their light that I would lie about that) but I also started to realize that he also has one of the more distinct tones. Its like, almost a little too bright or some other term that I dont know how to misuse, and a little nasal. And this fact coupled with his small vocal range makes him stick out like a sore thumb on his solo lines when he actually has them. And as a side note, he doesn't blend well in general (they usually mask this in other songs by having him on melody with Harry and Zayn). But its honestly a passable effort, and Niall sounds fine on his bit. Harry sounds like a chain smoker on his verse, but is good on the chorus. And the last chorus is really pretty and great. Overall, its actually not bad and gets better with every listen. But good lord, the lyrics. They're the reason why I haven't been able to get into this as much as I wanted to. And I love Ed Sheeran. Like way a lot. But he wrote this when he was 15 (true fact) and found the scribbles in his trashcan and said 'I'll give this poop to my mates in One Direction, innit bruv?' (probably an exaggeration). They're just...awful. Like, I'm all about the pandering to young insecure girls, but this just doesn't feel the same. It kind of takes the charm of What Makes You Beautiful, but turns it on its head a bit. Whereas before I was flipping my hurr and smiling at the ground and shit like that, this time my flaws have been enumerated and named...and its almost like they'll love you in spite of that instead of because of it. Does that makes sense? Its like trading in Zooey Deschanel or Bridget Jones, a quirky hot girl who pretends not to realize she's hot, a la What Makes You Beautiful, for Helga Pataki, or basically a girl with a unibrow and low self esteem (clearly masked by her tough exterior). This song would be like every time Arnold says something sweet to her and she suddenly gets lovey-dovey and validated and I hate that.
STAY STRONG HELGA GIRL YOU DONT NEED A MAN TO MAKE YOU FEEL BEAUTIFUL.
Its so silly, because the message of both songs are very similar, but its the delivery that kills it a bit. Also, the word "thighs" just needs to stay the hell away from music forever. Ed clearly just kept all the good songs for himself haha.
But the video is quite redeeming isn't it? Its an understated black and white affair which allows you to focus on how attractive everyone has become instead of the lyrics. Zayn and Harry remains flawless. Louis has slowly but steadily been shuffling the hotness line-up, and his denim jacket is a good look. Niall still stares into the camera for an awkwardly long amount of time, but like give it six months, and he'll be smouldering with the best of them (probs when his braces come off). and Liam...well, Liam at least looks like he's recovering from his post-breakup Britney-esque breakdown buzzcut (you can't tell me thats not what it was. hide the umbrellas y'all).
its okay 5-head. No one is judging you for your emotional reaction to the break up.
So basically the visual helped ease my disappointment in the second single, which is exactly what happened with Gotta Be You. In fact, Gotta Be You and Little Things basically served the same purpose. The ballad-y/mid-tempo second single that is a solid album track but REALLY REALLY should never have been a single. But again, growers.
So anyway. The actual point of this whole thing. I went into this thing with mixed expectations after hearing the first two singles. But here's my ramble-y album preview review!
2. Kiss You - ooooh I like this one!!! Its instantly infectious and makes you wanna run or something equally as silly. It reminds me of a song that you would hear in the Disney Channel Original Movie 'Get a Clue,' or something of that ilk. They do fast well. Zayn and Harry sound marvelous in this clip. Oh and the album title comes from this one! the verses are frantic and then it slows down into an awesome chorus. Here for this!
3. C'mon C'mon - eh. Its okay. I hear potential. It has a "My Life would Suck without you" kind of beat. Or I guess its a similar driving beat thats in "Save you Tonight" from the first album. So I'll probably like it eventually. On second listen its very much in the vein of Save you Tonight. Generic sounding but ultimately fun
4. Last First Kiss - I dunno. It sounds "I Wishy"-y, which means I'll probably never really like it as much as the others. The name is also stupid. But Liam does sound lovely.
5. Heart Attack - YO DIS MY JAM!!! Insta-like. The melody is similar to/reminds me of Pink's "Don't let me get me," which can't be a bad thing. I feel like there's an explosive chorus waiting to happen. And the opening just draws you in, you know. YUSSSSS.
6. Rock Me - Okay this is one of the leaked tracks, so I can do a better analysis of this. Lol at "Do you remember Summer 09." PROBABLY NOT BECAUSE YOU WERE STILL A FETUS. Jk, they were like 15 or something. Its got the "We will Rock you" drum beat in the back, which is a cute touch. Its nice though, I actually like it a lot (after about three spins. I liked it fine the first time). Its not at all what I expected, but still good. Its got Louis on the whiny bits (where he's pining for her under the moonlight or something) that actually suit his voice pretty well, even though he sounds like he's straining the tiniest little bit. But I love big choruses, and this one is definitely anthemic. I can just imagine this in an arena/stadium concert venue when the music drops out and its just the voices. Also,the background at the chorus sounds a bit like Weezer's "Say it Ain't So," down to the guitar wails on the off-beats. Harry sounds great on this. Also "Rock Me" is easily the PG version of the song, if you know what I mean. lol, these cheeky monkeys.
7. Change My Mind - Acoustic. Louis starts it (meh). I can't really get a read on this. It doesn't sound very exciting though.
8. I would - Oooh this is the Tom Fletcher penned one, isn't it? It sounds fun! And fast. Like I said, they do fast very well. Lol at Tom writing "I want" and then "I would." From the clip it sounds like this will be the 2012 version of "Teenage Dirtbag," which will probably be amazing and my life story told through song. So great. I'm on board! And whoever says the "a lot" is sexual chocolate (Zayn/Liam? I think it's Zayn right before it switches)
9. Over Again - Ugh another Ed Sheeran song. I hate that I can't seem to get behind this song because anyone that knows me that I bow at the feet of the ginger prince. But it seriously just sounds too Sheeran-y to be One Direction. It just sounds like they are covering one of his songs. And like singing in fake British accents. I know they're british, but none of them are actually singing in their own accents. They're just singing like Ed. Moments was great because it didn't have the typical way that Ed sings his words, so it made it their own. you know? Whatever, maybe its not awful. Maybe i'll like it.
10. Back for You - meh. generic. I dunno. Not a fan.
11. They Don't Know About Us - okay. okay. okay. Can we just call this one "REMEMBER THAT TIME ONE DIRECTION RECORDED A BACKSTREET BOYS SONG AND IT WAS THE MOST AMAZING THING THATS EVER HAPPENED ON THIS EARTH". But like seriously. Its amazing, unadulterated pop perfection. If it isn't obvious this is one of the leaks. It starts off with a pretty piano bit. I was convinced this was going to be some sweet soft ballad. But its a mid-tempo affair with a HUGE CHORUS WITH THE DRUMS AND THE CHORDS AND THE HARMONIES AND THE EVERYTHING. I cried. Obviously. and ZAYN. SLAYING. EVERYONE. Oh my gosh, its like More than This part. 2 but like 18 times better. Its literally at the BSB standard (which I wasn't expecting for this album) like it was ripped from their come back album or something. Its cheesy and sappy, but by great Odin's beard, it just has everything I want in a pop song. Whoever wrote this needs the noble prize. This song has single-handedly renewed my faith in them as a group, pop as a genre, love, and humanity in general. If someone disagrees I will kill everything.
12. Summer Love - ew this sounds too lovey. I want a JT-esque Summer Love, dammit. JUSTIN, DO YOU HEAR ME??
13. She's not afraid - I dont know what this is called, but I LOVE IT. Its Na na na level infectious. Ooh and there's nice harmonies. and Harry sounds like sexual chocolate Also I hope all the other titles are correct haha. Its kind of hard to tell with some of these considering the clips are only 25 seconds long
14. Loved you First - I dunno dude. Sounds like a rejected midtempo Dragonette track. Which I can totally get behind because Dragonette is flaw-free. verdict's still out.
15. Nobody Compares? I think - I dont know why, but I like this one! also NIALL STARTING A SONG WHAT WHAT. "Pretty when you cry"...never true "You're so London, your own style" LOVE THIS LINE. SING IT ZAYN
16. Still the One - JK THIS IS NA NA NA PART 2! I can't get enough. Aw and they let Louis sing a lot again!
17. ??????- What the hell is this words? no.
So basically I've feeling good things about this after being super anxious before. All is right with the world. Weirdly enough, parts sound like the first album, but like not really. I think its going to play the same way where some songs when played in their entirety are just formulaic copies of each other (i hear the similar guitar work already) but like, who cares as long as it sounds good. Again, not expecting any game changers (although I'm convinced that They Don't Know About Us is the sound of their future if they're still around in 5 years. Its both fresh and retro at the same time...please Lord, be the sound of their future.). But I'm officially on board the One Direction second era train!
As per usual, I complain day in and day out that Justin Timberlake needs to stop kidding himself about being a #siriusactor and get back in the recording studio. Of course, I say this despite the fact that I've only seen him "acting" in the Disney Channel Original Movie "Model Behavior," which I am convinced is his finest work. For those who haven't seen this Disney Classic, here's a clip!
Start at 1:43 for a snippet of the Oscar-winning performance
1. Off topic, but a huge shout-out to all the biddies who put up literally EVERY DCOM EVER MADE on youtube. You are my heroes. Thank you for reminding everyone how DCOMs were done before everyone was already some try-hard on the Disney Channel and wanted to be a quadruple threat singer-dancer-actor-druggie or whatever (I'm obviously not including my home-skillet-biscuit Raven in that category because she is amazing and both That's so Raven and the Cheetah Girls were flawless).
2. HOLY CRAP THIS IS RUFF. He is just...trying so hard, with his Shaft-influenced long jacket. You can even see Brillo-head look up for a second (probably at the director) for the signal to go in for the kiss. And I refuse to believe that he is any better in his other movie roles than he is here.
He really was at his best when he was singing. Though I will admit that I really wasn't feeling Justified when it came out, I soon learned the error of my ways. It was essentially like the last NSYNC album Celebrity (Which was very good) minus the three flop back-up singers and JC. And then Futuresex/Lovesounds dropped and it felt like your 4th birthday all over again (I believe birthdays one through four were probably the best because you had no idea what was going on but everyone was losing their minds over your existance and giving you cakes and presents...the good old days) ...only really really sexy. I'm re-listening to the album as I write this and dying all over again. Seriously, almost every song is perfect. Futuresex/Lovesounds. Summer Love. My Love. LOVESTONED.
I mean, come on!!! How great is this song??? Even his horribly ill-fitting, un-ironed, three sizes too big grey suit during the "I Think That She Knows" part can't ruin this for me. Part of me thinks he realized that this was Pop Perfection tinged with R&B greatness and could never top it...and every day, millions of girls and boys shed a single tear about it.
However, that hasn't stopped tons of people from trying to fill the void over the last six years. But you know what its like? Its like when that old lady in Spain tried to restore the century old fresco...This is what we got:
...just...what...I cannot even...in the words of Ryan Lochte: "NO JEAH 4 YOU!"
This month alone, England has come out swinging with their Justin Timberlake inspired musicians. Three of my favorite pop music blogs (Discopop Directory and PopJustice and theProphetblog) have already weighed in on them, so I figure I can have a go.
The first offenders are X-factor runners-up, JLS.
Jack the Lad Swing
They are known for Marvin by far being the hottest in the group and being married to Rochelle from the Saturdays (oh wait, no one but me knows that?), having some catchy songs, and then some down right awful ones. 30 seconds of research just told me that their song "The Club is Alive", also known as THE WORST SONG/SINGLE PROBABLY EVER got to number 1 on the UK charts...I am literally dumbstruck. There must be something (like a bacteria) in the water over there that caused deafness during that week the song came out.
That being said, this is their new song. Its called...ugh..."Hottest Girl in the World"
My first reaction was, " Is this real life? WHO TOLD THEM THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?? Are they really trying to beat themselves for worst song of all time right now?" I mean, objectively, it has all the makings of a Justified-era JT song. Especially in the production and and instrumentation. I'm getting major "Like I Love You" vibes from this. Too bad I hated that song when it came out :/ That explains why this doesn't work for me.
No actually, the reason this is awful is the lyrics. GOOD GRACIOUS THE LYRICS.
"I can be your Toy-friend"
...what? really?
"If you should ever wonder why these dudes all fall in line, it's cause they see that sexiness has finally been defined"
This is how I feel hearing that:
"How does it feel to be the hottest girl in the world right now?"
NO. NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. NO.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST PART IS?
...I'm starting to like it a little bit...I think I need an intervention. Someone needs to come shake it out of me. Like, I KNOW. I know its terrible, but when everything but the beat drops out I start to do this:
I love myself but I hate myself. Okay I have to move on, but please, I need constant reaffirmation in the awfulness of this otherwise you might hear it as my new ringtone very soon. I hate how catchyness can so easily trump goodness with repeated listening :(
Next we have their White Soul Singer Flavor of the Month, Tyler James with "Single Tear"
First of all, who is this guy??
I'd never heard of him so I had to do some research. First, his name is actually Kenneth Gordon. Tyler James seems like a bit of a stretch in terms of name change, so I don't like him already. And apparently he is a The Voice UK runner-up (maybe this is a runner-up syndrome?) recently or something. And in 2002 he was hailed as "Britain's answer to Justin Timberlake."
...okay. Number one, NO ONE EVEN ASKED YOU THAT QUESTION, SO I REJECT YOUR ANSWER. And number two, NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO.
I mean, I've watched the video. Like, I get it.You can sing in falsetto. And the song like, isn't bad. It is all the things that I generally like. Its pretty catchy, super soulfully-angsty, and very "Cry Me a River." But that is exactly the problem. It's beyond unoriginal and just takes everything about the song and video for Cry Me a River, but makes it mediocre. I don't really need to watch someone slobbering over some girl while taking a video...again. It was weird and different and cool the first time, not now. Yeah, that's my problem. I also would have appreciated a bridge before the last chorus but like whatever. He's just trying too hard.
Finally, we have the youngin' known as Conor Maynard.
It was really hard trying to find a picture where he didn't look like an infant. oh welp.
Okay, I felt weird putting him in this post with the other TimberFakes. When he broke out from Youtube to the actual music charts, I feel like he was marketed more as a "British Justin Bieber," which I guess is somewhat valid. But since J Biebs is trying to market himself as a baby Justin Timberlake now with his new look and somewhat different sound (less womanish), by the transitive property of life, Conor fits into my broad generalization!
But you know what? I...dont hate it...at all. His voice is miles better that what you would expect from looking at his face. He was a glorious break (and anyone who knows me knows how I feel about singers with breaks in their voices), and his music is SUPER catchy (Can't Say No, and Vegas Girl for those who don't know...although I'm not sure what the hell a 'Vegas Girl' is according to him, or if he's ever been to Las Vegas).
This is his new song, "Turn Around" ft. Ne-Yo
This is Conor Maynard serving up some Chris Brown "Beautiful People"/"Dont Wake Me Up" realness with Ne-Yo to help give it more credibility. But I kind of see this as one of those aging estimation things they do on milk cartons for missing people, you know? I dont know, but I get the feeling that if JT was still making sweet music, he would have adapted to today's booming dance-electro-pop trend that everyone and their mom is doing right now, and that it would sound pretty similar to this. But while I actually dig this song a lot, I can't get over him forever looking like a fetus. Conor can call me back when he's gained about 30 pounds of fat and 20 pounds of muscle.
So basically I'll keep crying into my Futuresex/Lovesounds cd until Justin comes back...or until Robin Thicke releases something knew. He can definitely stay. He really is the only one that comes close and ticks almost all of the boxes.
